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The Official Family Feud (Ep. 12.13) Official Recap Discussion Thread

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I’ll also be simul-recapping on Wayward Children.

Starting now:

Unnecessary recap of Mick’s speech about monsters to Mary. More necessary recap of Gavin, since it’s been years since we saw him. Recap of last week’s ep that shows how much it sucked.

Cut to six months ago in Andover, MA (hi Great-something Grandpa Francis!). Really creepy intro as a Doomed Teaser Gal is brushing her teeth and going to bed. She then gets grabbed from underneath by electrifying hands and we get blood spatter on a nearby family portrait.

Cut to Now(?) and Dean recapping that Demon Baby Mama is still MIA (can she stay that way?). Sam mentions a new victim in the teaser case whose tongue was ripped out. Dean suggests the call Mary.

Mary is killing monsters with a taser as a test in front of Mr. Retch. She gets a call from Dean (who senses something is up) and makes excuses. As she hangs up, Retch very unwisely mentions she’s a great liar. Mary growls that she hasn’t told her sons about her working with the LoL. They don’t trust the LoL. this may have something to do with their “rogue operative” having tortured her kids. Hmm. Trouble in Paradise?

Cut to Crowley, who infodumps the plothole from the crappy “LOTUS” episode, has been mighty stupid, it seems. He diverted the spell to send Lucifer back to the Cage. Blahblah, really stupid retcon, blahblah Lucifer found his old vessel again (which, btw, was actually turned to dust when Lucifer left it), blahblahblah, we’ve got Nickifer again, new and improved. Oh, well. After all the Chuckawful “vessels” Lucifer has had to this point, if we’re stuck with him, we might as well have Mark P. I wasn’t *that* wedded to losing Castiel for Casifer.

In the obligatory night time car chat, Sam mentions Doomed Teaser Gal and muses about Mary not making it. Dean admits he’s suspicious. Sam makes excuses. So, business as usual.

The Brothers visit a museum with a shipwreck and Dean discovers lots of EMF. Sam mentions that museums have lots of objects, so lots of ghosts.

Ugh. Kelly just showed up. In a diner. Feeling whiny about motherhood. Well, hon, you always could’ve used birth control or gotten that abortion.

So, that happened.

Nickifer is laughing at Crowley thinking this will end well for him. I agree with Nickifer for once. Crowley giving in to his desire for revenge is a new low in dumb. Though Nickifer is happy to blab all about his new love child Nephilim.

In the museum, the Brothers find out the wreck exhibit is from Andover and about the Star, which Dean recognizes as the one on which Gavin was supposed to sink.

Dean happens to call just when Nickifer is claiming the Brothers lied to Crowley, so Crowley refuses to cooperate. Because this episode writing Crowley as really, really dumb.

At a bus outside the museum, something unseen slips a locket into the guide’s coat pocket.

The Brothers go to Plan B and recruit Rowena.

Meanwhile, two angels stalk Kelly, but she’s saved by Dagon.  Who can kill demons. Hmm, seem to recall that if Lilith could have killed angels, she would have, and YED stayed away from them entirely.

Kelly somewhat halfway intelligently is suspicious of Dagon’s story about how awesome her baby daddy is and how evil the angels and Brothers are. Kelly sorta buys this through a combination of “Pregnancy makes you stupid” and genre episode stupidity.

Cue the sneak peek. First one, anyway, where the Brothers meet Gavin at the bus stop and introduce him to his grandmother.

They take Gavin to the museum and have him go through who he remembers went on board and the ship’s manifest. He finds his fiancee’s locket and it appears she went on the ship. Brief recap of Abaddon (we miss you, girlfriend!).

Gavin is as clueless as ever.

Dean immediately notices that the locket is no longer in the exhibit.

Cut to Mary and Mr. Retch. Can he die sooner than later? He’s quite boring. He (really) unwisely suggests Mary “disengage” from her sons. When she says nothing comes before her family, he stupidly pushes it, claiming that she’s “softer” and “weaker” with her sons. Then he tries to flatter her as a mighty Hunter who doesn’t need anyone else. After all, the LoL are his family. Saddo.

Shut up, Retch, or you’re gonna get spiked.

The Brothers consult with the curator about the “theft” of the locket and Dean asks about the latest school groups who came through (because he and Sam suspect the killer is a schoolteacher, since those have been the latest victims). One came through from the Pembroke School of Girls.

Note that this week, Dean is the only one with a brain.

At said school, two teachers are grading late when a hooded figure shows up and murders one of them. Thunder and lightning and rain, and the Brothers show up just in time to save the second teacher.

The Brothers set up a trap where Gavin sits in a chair summons the ghost. To determine if it was Fiona.

The ghost shows up, in a hooded green clock, then transforms into Gavin’s fiancee. She seems glad at first and then says he abandoned her. She’s mad, even when he tries to explain that he was “sent away.” Seems the crew found her and gang-raped her, and their teacher, who was also on board, mocked her. So, she’s now fixated on killing teachers.

Gavin is upset about Fiona’s kills. The Brothers suggest that if he goes back, he could make history right again and “save” Fiona from becoming a vengeful spirit. Rowena is upset, but Gavin says he agrees with them.

Crowley, who is still very, very stupid, shows up suddenly and rages at the plan. It turns out Gavin called him. Crowley asks why Gavin called him if he didn’t want to be saved. Gavin says it was to say goodbye.

Rowena is now on board with the plan, understanding, perhaps, that Gavin will end up in Heaven with his girl. She freezes Crowley with a spell, though he can still speak. Lemme guess–this is the very, very stupid reason why Crowley will now work with Nickifer.

The Brothers leave with Gavin for the Bunker. They do the time spell Henry had used, “tweaked” by Rowena, who has stayed back at the school.

The Brothers give Gavin a pep talk about how he’s doing the right thing. Though teary-eyed, Gavin sees it through. Sam says the spell. Gavin doesn’t actually go back in time. Instead, Fiona appears beside him, they both turn into ghosts, and they disappear in a bright glow that usually signifies the ghost is going to Heaven (coughThe Veilcoughcough).

So, the Brothers remember everything, but the timeline is back to normal. Um…okay.

Mary shows up. Dean calls Mary on having been gone so long. Sam tries to say Dean was being “dramatic.”

Mary has a peace offering–beer and burgers–and Dean immediately forgives her.

Well, until Mary drops the other shoe and admits she’s been working with the LoL. She tries the spiel on them. Dean is very quiet, while Sam looks really hurt. Mary tries to put it back on Dean about his giving her “the face” (Dean refuses to take it). Sam expresses his pain about her working with people who tortured him (yay, Sam! Totally appropriate response!) and also points out that how he and Dean do things has worked very well so far.

Mary asks them to let her explain.

In a bus shelter, Crowley confronts Rowena about Gavin. Rowena says she loved Gavin as much as she loved Oskar. She says she wanted Crowley to suffer for making her kill Oskar, though she allows that it was also the right decision for Gavin. Then she walks away.

Oh, my! A little Rolling Stones (“Playing with Fire”) as we see Nickifer and a montage of Mary trying to explain her position to the Brothers. Also, Dagon with Kelly as Nickifer calls out to Dagon. Zero interest in Kelly, but I kinda like the actress playing Dagon. Sadly, it seems she’ll be thrown under the Lucifer melodrama bus.

Still no promo, dammit. Will go look for it.

Here we go. We’ve got both Mick and Retch next week (hope at least one of them bites the dust). Their ambitious plan is to kill every vampire in the U.S. Good luck with that, boys, especially since the Alpha Vamp (Rick Worthy’s back! Yay!) is still around.

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The Official Stuck in the Middle (With You) (Ep 12.12) Live Recap Discussion Thread

We need your help!

Contribute monthly via Patreon (which includes perks), make a one-time donation through Paypal, or buy us a coffee.

You can access previous spoilers columns at Innsmouth Free Press here.

This  will be the last one I’m posting on IMDb (since the message boards there are closing down this weekend).

I’ll also be simul-recapping on Wayward Children.

Recap starting with some scene snippets and such we haven’t heard before of the underwhelming LoL, the underwhelming Lucifer spawn story, and some stuff about sparkly superweapons (gee, I miss the Colt and the First Blade).

Cut to Mr. Ketch narrating to the audience (oh…no) and then a flashback to 5:20pm sometime before (oh, NOOOOOOO. Stop it with that cliched BS, show!).

Cue the sneak peek. Dean is (totally improbably) striking out with the waitress, who is bored and also into Castiel. A confused conversation of Dean giving dating advice to Castiel, Sam talking about having scanned all the Bunker’s library into his computer (yeah…um…no, show. Really. No), and such before Mary gets them all back to business, which is helping a Hunter who’s normally into hunting rougaru with hunting a demon. Dean gets a date with the waitress for Castiel.

So, then we flash to Mary dragging a wounded Castiel out of a house, while Sam and Dean are fighting demons. By the way? The waitress was possessed. She kills the Doomed Teaser Hunter as Sam is killing another demon, then brags about how famous she’ll be for killing Sam Winchester before Dean stabs her from behind (because demons are definitely stupid).

Cue title cards.

Annnnd, more flashing around because this is a very basic story intentionally being jumbled around like Pulp Fiction, except that this episode, so far, kinda sucks. Like, badly.

So, the upshot is that the demon they’re hunting turns out to be YED. No, it doesn’t make any sense, and I’m sure we’re all going to regret this return a whole lot because so far? This episode kinda sucks. And the music is annoyingly inappropriate.

He kicks their asses and stabs Castiel with a big spear, while snarking. We flash back to the other two demons getting killed…yeah, whatever, show.

Anyhoo, Mary is able to rescue Castiel temporarily by ramming YED with her car (which must have been satisfying), but Castiel can’t heal himself.

Mary tells the Brothers about recognizing YED. We get another annoying-ass flashback to her talking with DTH about how she’s really working with the LoL and how awesome they are. She then gives a list of “accomplishments” the LoL have helped her do that sound like an ordinary month for her sons.

The episode keeps jumping around like a damned spider on acid, so it’s not really clear who’s finding out when where, but we then go forward to Mary talking with Sam briefly about hunting and then finding a safe in the cellar behind that same old painting of Michael killing the Devil. Whatever she finds and opens up glows. And later, she lies to Castiel.

Cut forward again (oh, *enough*, show!) to Mary trying to help Castiel and texting the LoL for help. They are predictably useless.

An awful lot of this is overlapping scenes, which probably means the amount of story we’ll actually get will be maybe twenty minutes worth.

The Brothers come in and tell Mary about DTH. Dean goes to Castiel, who tells him he can’t heal and may be dying.

Crowley shows up unexpectedly and tells them they’re all going to die, while calling them “idiots.”

So, Crowley introduces himself to Mary, who tells him she’ll kill him if he touches her.

Crowley asks if they know who Ramiel is. Only Castiel does. Castiel says that Ramiel is a Prince of Hell. They’re supposed to be superdemons after Lilith (except that, hey, show, Lilith was afraid of the Spork and this new demon is immune to it, remember?). So, a low-rent version of Knights of Hell and MoC folk, basically. Oh, and it seems YED was one.

Another stupid flashback, this time to Crowley giving Ramiel the Lance of Michael. Ramiel blathers over it for a while. It kills evil things and good things slowly. Hmm, how shall we end up killing Ramiel, I wonder?

Crowley also gives him the glow-y box. He wants Ramiel to rule Hell. Ramiel isn’t interested.

Apparently, this flashback is to right after “Swan Song” because Ramiel hands the crown over to Crowley.

Supposedly, there are other Princes of Hell–Asmodeus and Dagon. Ramiel tells Crowley to leave them alone or the Princes will come after Crowley.

Well, after Cain, Dean/MoC, God and Amara, I am pretty unimpressed.

Listen, dumbass writers, a spear and a lance are basically the same thing.

Crowley admits there is no cure for Castiel. Dean points out that they’ve taken down bigger prey (like…oh, YED, by any chance? Can we say “Colt”?). Crowley hedges. Dean tells him to help or get lost, so Crowley gets lost. Sort of. As Ramiel approaches the barn, Crowley tries to make a deal with him.

Ah, I see Ramiel is far too stupid to know who the Winchesters are. Crowley gives his speech about how the Winchesters are too important to kill and tries to make another deal. Instead, Ramiel blows him through the wall of the barn.

More annoying-ass western music. Normally, I like this group (same guys as from “Frontierland,” I think), but boy, does it not work here.

More repeating of scenes crap. So lazy.

After Crowley leaves, Castiel tries to thank the Brothers for being his family. He knows he’s dying and tells them he loves them.

The Nep Duo wrote this tripe, didn’t they? Or was it one of the newbies?

So, Dean’s plan is to “hit ’em with everything we got” and they proceed to use holy fire and magic brass knuckles. Ramiel is unimpressed. I am really unimpressed by the actor.

Ramiel says he doesn’t care about anything. Like…*literally* anything. Which makes him remarkably boring. This guy is no Cain.

He says his sister Dagon is helping that nitwit who got herself preggers by Lucifer. Oh, yay. More Princes of Hell a-coming with *that* useless storyline.

So, Ramiel monologues and says they have 30 seconds to give him back what’s his. The Brothers have no clue what he’s talking about. He brings out the spear (hey! Think that might kill him? I’ll bet it would!) and they attack him.

He’s beating their asses in a pretty desultory way until Sam finally manages to get the drop on Ramiel and stab him. Ramiel starts laughing, then screams as he light up inside and blows apart.

As the others gather around Castiel, who is vomiting black goo, Crowley wakes up and picks up the spear (let’s not secure the really scary new weapon, or anything) and remembers Ramiel talking about runes on the thing. He somehow heals Castiel.

Crowley says, “You’re welcome,” drops the spear, and disappears.

Well…that was underwhelming. And it’s not even over yet.

So, Castiel is cured and asks what Ramiel was babbling on about their supposedly having. Dean says, Who cares? He picks up the spear and they exit.

Cut to a coda with Mr. Ketch–getting dressed down by Mary. Ketch whines, “Is that a threat?” Mary says, “It’s a promise.” If the LoL screw her and her kids over again, she will “burn you all down.”

A bit intimidated, Ketch backs down and apologizes. He asks to see “it.” Lemme guess–it’s the glowy thing.

Though why the Colt was glowing, I don’t know. Ketch is all reverent, which is pretty sad, considering the Brothers discarded it because it didn’t work so well, anymore. Also, why Mary didn’t just USE IT ON RAMIEL, I don’t know. It would have worked.

Oh, and it’s not Ramiel’s or any other Prince of Hell’s. A human made it.

Cut to Crowley realizing it’s slipped from his hands. Also, seems Lucifer can talk to Crowley from the Cage and starts insinuating that Sam and Dean will eventually turn on him (well…duh). Crowley tells him to shut up and calls him “dog.” I sure hope Show won’t be writing Crowley stupid and having him start listening to Lucifer, of all people.

And again, no preview aired so we can instead cut to lame-ass Riverdale.

Welp, *that* sucked. In more adept hands, it might have worked, but thanks to this particular writer, it came off more like spaghetti and meatballs with calamari and ice cream tossed at a wall.

Promo for next week.

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