The Official Supernatural: “Moriah” (14.20 – Season Finale) Live Recap Thread


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Longish recap to “Carry On Wayward Son” that teases us with a bit of Dean!Michael before boring the crap out of us with how terrible the entire Jack storyline was.

Cut to Now and that cliffhanger some optimistic fans were all abuzz about last week, with Jack busting out of the Ma’lak Box. Yeah, about that. Jack whines that TFW lied to him, tosses them into some bookshelves (I really hate that he trashed their archive, but at least the library upstairs is intact), and … anticlimactically flies off.

Yeah. I know. That’s what you waited a week for. Sorry.

In the aftermath of getting themselves up and dusting themselves off, and handwaving why Jack was able to bust out of the unbustable box (I doubt we’ll get anything more satisfying than that), Dean recovers first. He says they need to find Jack fast before he hurts anyone (else) and gank him. As far as locating Jack, Sam says that praying’s out now, for obvious reasons (I dunno, Sam. Jack’s pretty gullible. He might actually fall for that one twice).

Castiel gets pissy and tries to pick a fight with Dean (the world is not Twitter, Cas), but Dean shuts him down cold. Dean gives Castiel some much-needed home truths about how he always thought raising Jack was too dangerous, but no one listened to him. How Castiel knew Jack had broke bad, but he chose to stay quiet because he wanted the fantasy of a happy family so badly. After the past two weeks, Dean doesn’t have to add, “And now Mom’s dead.”

Furious, but unable to come up with a blistering retort (I’m sure he’ll think of one a week from now), Castiel shoves past Dean and stalks out the door.

Sam is upset, but Dean points out to him that as much as they cared about Jack, he’s a monster now and he’s hurting people. They have to stop him. Yeah, Sam. Starting thinking like a Hero again, for once. Save some people. Hunt some things.

Where’s Jack? He’s in a crowded public place. People are sitting around having inane conversations, in which he detects (or thinks he does, anyway) a lot of lies. He gets the “brilliant’ idea of making everyone tell the truth. Because that’s bound to end well.

Meanwhile, Sam is following up (by phone) on Dean’s idea of recruiting Rowena for a locator spell. She thinks it’s “dangerous,” but she’s in.

Dressed as FBI agents, the Brothers enter a tech company for facial software. This somehow leads to Sam responding to Dean’s usual grumping about “nerds” that Dean is the biggest nerd of all and he even watches Jeopardy every night. Which, okay, cute, I guess, but it seems very out of place.

Dean then introduces himself to the receptionist and says he’s looking for “the Devil’s son.” So, I guess that anti-lying mojo is working on Dean now.

Dean scampers off to Sam, who is being puzzled by two coworkers admitting to each other that one is sleeping with the other one’s wife and the other one doesn’t care. Dean asks Sam who his favorite singer is (Sam always says Elvis, but Dean knows that’s a lie) and Sam is shocked when he’s forced to admit it.

At that moment, all Hell breaks loose in the office as various people start admitting their biggest grievances to each other. I kinda like the lady who’s going around, stealing staplers and gloating, “I’m the Stapler Queen!”

The Brothers quickly step into a conference room, where a TV announcer on the wall is reporting on Trump having just made a full and public confession about his tax records and connections to Russia. Also, seems he made a deal with Crowley. Oh, and her co-anchor confesses his love or her. Seems the spell in question is universal.

Now that he’s been forced to confess that his favorite singer is Celine Dion, Sam’s fully on board with tracking Jack down before he does any more damage.

Meanwhile, Castiel is in an alley, trying to talk to a demon about going to Hell and studying the Cage. The demon refuses, but a voice behind Castiel changes and ups the entire game. When he turns around, he sees Chuck. Chuck allows that TFW might just be boned.

Chuck says he came because of Castiel’s prayer (in the warehouse, when he found Joshua’s new version of the Amulet). And because Jack has become “a problem.” Because of course he did. [eyeroll]

Meanwhile, Jack is knocking on his grandmother’s door and barges his way in. He doesn’t notice the signals that she doesn’t want him around. He says he wants to talk more about Kelly. Well, he gets a lot more than he bargained for when his grandmother reveals she knows he lied to her before (karma sucks, doesn’t it, Jack?). She screams at him, demanding to know what he did to her daughter and is Kelly dead?

Jack, still having no learning curve, gets mad. His eyes glow yellow and he shouts, “STOP!” Because of course he does. Why would he accept any consequences for his own actions? He’s miserably failed at that so far.

Back at the tech office, Dean is discovering that the internet has gone awfully quiet, save for those folks admitting their lives aren’t nearly as neat as they claimed. Sam is using face recognition software to locate Jack. Out in the office, mayhem continues as Castiel and Chuck show up.

Chuck goes into a little rant about how people need to lie. “It keeps the peace.” He says he’s a writer and writers lie, so he should know. In case that sounds vaguely familiar, that’s this episode’s writer, Andrew Dabb, riffing on the late, great Ursula K. LeGuin (“a novelist’s business is lying“) and sucking hard at it.

Chuck and Castiel come in to a shocked Dean and Sam. Ignoring Dean’s questions at first, Chuck sits down with a guitar for a song. Dean, channeling half the audience (at least), grabs the guitar and smashes it, Pete Townshend-style, on the floor. When Dean gets in Chuck’s face, Chuck gets mad, but it doesn’t let him off the hook. In fact, it unites Sam and Castiel remarkably quickly at Dean’s back, especially once Chuck snaps them back to the Bunker.

Chuck starts burbling on about being a deus ex machina, but it falls on stony ground. Sam says he’s with Dean – he wants answers. And Castiel just looks pissed off. Yes, he looks like that a lot this episode.

Chuck is “charmingly” vague about questions where he’s been. When Dean asks him about Amara, he claims she was with him, at least most of the way, and is currently in Reno. No one believes him. Finally pinned down (or so it appears) on the question of why he’s here now, he says he only shows up for actual apocalypses, not ordinary stuff (like the Leviathans, or the “weak” LoL) and Jack is an apocalypse. For proof, Chuck waves a hand and we hear a lot of paranoid radio chatter from around the world.

By the way, we just saw Jack exit his grandmother’s house in a hurry, leaving the door wide open and Grandma nowhere to be seen.

Castiel asks if Chuck can fix it. Chuck says sure. He snaps his fingers and says, “Fixed … like it never happened.” Dean tests it by saying “Celine Dion rocks” and then assures everyone that yep, they can lie again. Back in the tech office, all is normal again, and a guy is ranting about someone stealing his yogurt while another guy is sitting at his own desk, eating said yogurt.

Chuck then fangirls Jack and his powers a bit (because of course he does). He then says Jack has to go, but Chuck can’t do it (for reasons), though the Brothers can. And he has just the thing. A silvery, rather creepy-looking pistol appears on the map table.

Chuck says the gun will kill anything. He says he’s thinking of calling it “The Equalizer” or “The Hammurabi.” The stony silence from the other side of the room deepens. Dean picks the gun up as Sam asks why Chuck didn’t bring it to them before. He says he just invented it, that’s why. Sam asks how do they know it will work? Chuck says of course it will work. He made it.

Dean says there are no bullets. Chuck technobabbles about “balance” in the universe and quantum bubbles and stuff. Sam (who is just so very done at this point with Chuck, after fangirling him for near a decade and a half) tells him to “get to the point.” Chuck says that whatever happens to the person/being you shoot, also happens to you. And since he can’t die without the entire Multiverse dying, he can’t use it on Jack.

Castiel asks why Chuck can’t just give Jack his soul back. Chuck claims it’s complicated, that souls are complicated. Castiel says, well, maybe they can just put Jack in the Cage until they find another solution (because I’m sure that would work as well as the Ma’lak Box).

Dean cuts him off by saying there’s no other way, while holding the gun. Castiel snarls that Billie said that Dean had to go in the Ma’lak Box, too, and look how that turned out. You know, I get that Dabb thinks he’s acknowledging that loose end here, but that somehow makes it worse that he knew perfectly well he was dropping that plot and chose to give us this load of horseshit, instead.

Also, we’re halfway through and so far, almost nothing has happened except a whole lot of infodump.

Chuck starts muttering angrily about how the previous Death was much more hands-off and Billie is too active for his tastes. That makes me just a little bit suspicious because why would he care?

Anyhoo, Dean tells Castiel to suck it up and deal or “walk away.” Castiel walks away. Meanwhile, Jack is walking down the street, remembering that he probably killed his grandmother.

In the next scene, Sam comes in on Dean drinking. Dean has already decided he will be the one to pull the trigger and die, along with Jack. Sam starts to whine that Jack is still saveable, that he did all those things because he didn’t have a soul. But Sam doesn’t seem to get that Jack can’t get that soul back, so that’s irrelevant. Really, how many people – how many women who are mothers to him – does Jack have to murder before Sam admits that maybe Jack needs to face some fucking consequences for once?

I mean, I really hate Sam in this scene. He is so casually misogynistic, so casually dismissive even of the death of his own mother, just so long as he can play Daddy to Jack. And on top of that, he’s busy guilt-tripping Dean about killing himself to kill Jack, because he’s “already lost too much.” Wow. Sam is breathtakingly selfish, isn’t he?

Anyhoo, Castiel has driven to some cemetery, where Jack flies in behind him. Castiel turns and hugs him. I am so very over Jack. Can’t he just go away forever now?

Back at the Bunker, Sam comes out into the Library to find Chuck playing with the archangel blade. Chuck asks Sam where he got it (as if Chuck wouldn’t know) and Sam just says, “Another world.” Sam asks Chuck about the other realities. Chuck says he’s “lost count … one’s in reverse. One’s in all-yellow. And one is just all squirrels.” So, all Deans, then?

Sam brings up that alt-Michael claimed Chuck made and discarded these worlds like “failed drafts.” Chuck claims that this Sam and Dean are the “most interesting” of all the Sams and Deans in the Multiverse.

Back to the cemetery, Jack is telling Castiel about his visit to his grandmother. He says she told him he killed Kelly, which he did. He says that used to bother him, but he doesn’t feel anything, anymore (except that both the script and the acting Show him feeling all sorts of things). We get the rest of the flashback, in which she saw his glowing eyes and exclaimed, “What are you?!” In the flashback, Jack has a moment of clarity and “runs away,” instead of hurting her. Castiel is all proud of him, because I guess the many other people Jack’s killed don’t matter.

In the Library, Sam asks if Chuck is watching them all the time and Chuck gets all creepy-nostalgic and says, “Yeah.” With a smile. Like his smile when Castiel stormed out. I don’t like that smile. Chuck says, “You’re my favorite show.”

Sam says that if he had Chuck’s power, he’d … well, what, Sam? Your track record with superpowers blows chunks, dude. Chuck says he can’t intervene. Only Sam and Dean can: “You’re my guys.”

Then he says something really humiliating for Sam, even as Sam guesses (but is it accurate?) that Chuck is afraid of Jack and knows where Jack is – he points out that Dean has already left to go kill Jack.

At the cemetery, Jack is still claiming that killing Mary was an accident. He claims to try to “do the right thing,” except for being “led astray” by Duma. He admits that whenever he tries to do things right, he screws up.

Castiel, like the kind of indulgent parent who needs a good talking-to from Supernanny, keeps saying that if only they could go away somewhere and “fix this.” This show has done such an excellent job of ruining Castiel this season, all in favor of blowing sunshine up Jack’s ass.

When Dean shows up with the gun, though, Jack tosses Castiel across the cemetery and kneels down so Dean can shoot him.

Castiel gets up and starts yelling at Dean, even as Sam is running through the cemetery, yelling at Dean (there doesn’t see to be any concern from either of them for Dean, just Jack), and Jack says, “I understand.”

Jack admits that he’s a “monster,” even as Chuck shows up and Sam realizes that Chuck is “enjoying this.”

But Dean hesitates and then, he tosses the gun aside.

At that moment, Chuck gets mad. It’s not how “the story” is supposed to go. This is a case of Abraham and Isaac, “of a father killing his son … it’s epic!” At that moment, Sam voices all of his growing misgivings throughout the episode about Chuck – “He’s been playing us, all our lives.”

Chuck: Dean, no offense, but your brother is stupid and crazy.

Castiel is pretty pissed (yes, I know, but he actually gets angrier in this scene), but it’s Dean who gets a really ugly look as he realizes he was being set up for assassination. That’s probably the most interesting part of the episode – that Chuck wanted Dean to die, but couldn’t – or wouldn’t – do it himself.

As he’s losing control over the situation, Chuck tries to bully-entice Dean into picking up the gun and shooting Jack by offering to bring Mary back and claiming that “the kid is still dangerous.”

Dean, realizing he’s been played, steps back from his greatest temptation, saying “No. My mom was my Hero. And I miss her. And I will miss her every second of my life. But she would not want this. And it’s not like you even really care.”

Dean gets a good rant going (why not? Everyone else got one this episode) about how Chuck has always known what was going on even back to the first apocalypse. He could always change it, but chose not to. Sam backs Dean up, though he does kinda step on Dean’s groove a bit.

But what happens next is interesting because Chuck basically ignores Sam and tries to shmooze Dean. It’s only when Dean tells him to go the Hell that Chuck decides he’s done. He snaps his fingers. And guess what? He’s totally capable of smiting Jack by remote. Easy as pie.

Dean tries to stop him, but gets knocked through a tombstone. Sam picks up the gun and shoots Chuck (the Dramatic Reenactment we get after commercial is embarrassingly cheesy), but it just bounces off Chuck and hits Sam in the shoulder like a real bullet.

Chuck: Fine. That the way you want it? Story’s over. Welcome to the end.

And Dean finds himself in the dark in the graveyard. It’s suddenly night. Sam and Castiel are still there. Sam’s still been shot, though he’s okay. Jack is dead, his eyes burned out of his head.

Dean says, confused, that Chuck said only the gun could kill Jack. “He’s a writer,” Castiel says, kneeling by Jack. “Writers lie.” Watch out for those anvils, kids. They’re heavy this week.

But alas, we’re not done with Jack Sue. To the tune of Motörhead’s “God Was Never on Your Side,” Jack wakes up in the Empty to meet the Empty Entity itself (which makes a benediction over him and chuckles) and Billie flying in for a chat. Because of course they do. [eyeroll]

Back on earth, the Brothers and Castiel witness souls blasting out of of glowing rifts in the ground. Castiel infodumps that they are souls from Hell. Shouldn’t they be demons, then? But instead, we have the Woman in White (from the Pilot) accosting a motorist, John Wayne Gacy’s ghost showing up at the door to a kid’s party (even though his thing was young gay boys), and Bloody Mary (also from season one) appearing in a mirror in the room of two young girls. Which, again, is nice and all, but the WiW and Mary really ought to be demons by now. Really.

Also, in the midst of exploding tombstones, zombies appear to menace the Brothers and Castiel. It’s all epically stupid as Castiel pulls out his angel blade and Dean grabs some iron from a rusty gate, handing some to Sam. All to Classic Rock we apparently couldn’t afford most of the season. The zombies converge on the three of them.

Credits.

Ratings for this week were pretty bad and didn’t experience the usual season finale bounce, with a 0.3/2 and 1.30 million. Even so, the show still far outstripped most of the other shows on the CW, which can’t even muster 1 million at this point.

No preview for next week, obviously, since that won’t be until October.

Review

Well, this was quite terrible, wasn’t it? Not to mention dull. There was a great deal of talking and very little action. One character (Rowena) was mentioned for a bit and then dropped. Another character who had been prominent the past few episodes (Fauxifer), and who should have been around, was simply forgotten. You may have noticed that almost everything (except for the office set) occurred in the Bunker or that graveyard. I guess Classic Rock and some zombie makeup’s too expensive to justify the cost of any decent fight choreography, or, hell, anything happening beyond a whole lot of infodumpy dialogue. Don’t bother to get excited about the biblical implications of the title, since they were spelled for all of a hot minute.

On Twitter, I compared it to a mess of moldy spaghetti tossed at the wall. They actually started the season with a good premise (Dean possessed by alt-Michael), but then floundered because they basically didn’t know what to do with it. I can pretty much guarantee you that if they flubbed the Michael storyline, the same writers will flub the EVOL!Chuck storyline because the problem will remain the same – the Big Bad is too Big and too Bad for Our Heroes to vanquish. It was actually easier with Michael because they had Dean and Dean was fighting from within, but nope. They went the very stupid Soulless!Jack route, instead.

Also, those who have been crowing about getting to see the same old MOTWs the Brothers had previously vanquished, again, think very hard about how well it’s gone of late with this current writing crew and old, iconic characters – very old and very iconic characters – that they brought back. For example, those who were looking forward to seeing Chuck again, just how happy are you today?

This show needs new showrunners and new writers, stat, but it’s probably not going to get any at this point in the game. And that’s too bad. The show deserved a better final season than it’s probably going to get. I really hope I’m wrong, but … well … it’s not as though this season finale was good. It also actually managed to make “Swan Song” look even worse. Didn’t think that was possible, but there you go.

But before we get into why, let me just put forward this spec. Let’s say that those of you who are thinking Chuck wasn’t really Chuck this episode (as opposed to written completely out of character, though both things can be simultaneously true) are correct. Who is this Chuck, then? Could it be he’s the Empty Entity? His characterization is more appropriate for that character, last we saw it, don’t you think?

But, you may ask, who was the being (beside Death) who greeted Jack in the Empty? Some have speculated that it was Gabriel, but I have another idea. What if it was Chuck?

This would explain a lot of things and might even make Jack less of a Gary Stu (since he’d be the first of TFW, such as he is, to arrive in the Empty, so Chuck and Billie are just taking what they can get). It would explain why “Chuck” was so much more nihilistic than before. Mind you, I think he always had that potential, and that’s why I hated the idea of his being God in the first place, but his demeanor and attitude toward the Brothers has either changed or he’s just being more honest. Or he’s not Chuck.

It explains why he would play mind games and try to get TFW to kill Jack when he could have done it at any time (you could argue that he killed Jack because Jack was the biggest threat to him, but if Jack were any kind of threat, Chuck wouldn’t have been able to smite him like that). It explains why he had a beef with Jack in the first place. There’s never been any indication Chuck gave a rat’s ass one way or the other about Jack, seeing as how he did nothing about his birth, the alternate universes, or any of that.

The Empty Entity, on the other hand, wanted Jack in the Empty just a few episodes ago. It explains why he was so moody (Chuck was a lot of things, previously, but moody was never one of them). It explains why he was so not-so-secretly sadistic (which we know the Empty Entity is). It even explains the nature of the new gun, the rant about “balance” (since when did Chuck care about that?), the strange absence of Amara, the changing Jack’s spell of compulsive honesty back to quotidian lying, and the sudden rage toward Billie and her “meddling.”

What it doesn’t explain is why Chuck (or “Chuck”) wanted Dean dead, too, because that was as cold-blooded an assassination attempt (of Dean) as this show has ever done. Or why Chuck didn’t just flat-out kill Dean when Dean refused, but had no problem killing Jack. And alas, even if the above theory is correct, that doesn’t mean the writers will do it any justice, whatsoever.

Which brings us back to the review.

There was some nice acting, especially from Jensen Ackles. And Jared Padalecki got something substantial to chew on with Sam’s growing realization that Chuck was a rotter. This particular journey actually fitted Sam best, since Sam is the brother who has had the most faith in God, has prayed to Him, and has had the most faith in Him. Dean has always been angry with God (and even began the series as a sort of atheistic pagan who didn’t believe in a universal deity, let alone a benevolent one). There’s more dramatic charge in Sam coming to this conclusion after a lifetime of belief and devotion, than Dean, since Dean’s already naturally inclined toward it. I mean, Dean was right all along about Chuck. Go figure.

Unfortunately, the acting can’t save the writing (or the direction). You’ll note that I didn’t mention Misha Collins or Alex Calvert. It’s not because they’re bad actors, but because they basically get nothing of substance to do here. As I said in the recap, Castiel spends most of the episode pissed off (usually at Dean) and poor Calvert is once again stuck with Telling the audience that Jack has no emotions (because he has no soul) while clearly Showing (due to the writing and probably the direction) that actually, Jack’s biggest problem is his emotions and his utter failure to control them without hurting someone. Over and over and over again.

I continue to believe that Jack is unsalvageable as a character. This episode just drove home why. So, no, I wasn’t thrilled to see his Speshul Sparkly Self waking up in the Empty and being visited by two Very Important People. I think he has just gone too far as a character, trampled too many moral lines, killed too many people, to come back from that.

Even Jack’s biggest stans implicitly acknowledge he has something he’s done to the main characters that may not be forgiveable when such fans try instead to transfer that moral charge onto blaming Dean (who is the current surviving victim of Jack’s rampage least likely to indulge him with a forgiveness he really doesn’t deserve). Somebody’s gotta pay, so if it’s not Jack, it’s got to be his “unreasonable” victim. Essentially, it’s just an extension of fans who bought the idea (put forward by Jack himself) that Mary caused her own death by making Jack mad (which, as I said a couple of weeks ago, is Abuser Logic).

Unfortunately, the show itself is at its most emotionally dishonest when having other characters deal with Jack (there’s also that bullshit “Writers lie” thing, but we’ll get to that in a minute). Dean’s character is the least muddy in his emotional arc, though we see his actions through a glass darkly and he has a last-minute change of heart that’s poorly mapped. Having Jack have a sudden and unlikely epiphany (after nearly fridging yet another biological mother figure) that he’s EVOL is, of course, emotionally manipulative, intended to woobie Jack, handwave Jack’s crimes (and they are crimes) to this point, and make Dean look like a big meanie. Again, Abuser Logic.

Less understandable are Sam’s (and especially Castiel’s) overly indulgent attitudes toward Jack, even to the point of ignoring the horrible things Jack has done, including to people they loved. It doesn’t help that the show has written Sam and Castiel for two years as invested in fostering Jack as much as for reasons of pride and ego as for altruism. But even that low bar doesn’t excuse their throwing over a 14-season and 10-season obsession (respectively) with Dean in favor of a character they’ve known for a hot minute, relatively speaking, and who is the son of their worst enemy. I don’t buy that and the show doesn’t even try to make it look plausible. Dabb & Co. just Cousin Oliver it all the way down the line.

So, let’s wrap up with that idiotic “Writers lie” theme. As I said before, it probably comes from a quote by Ursula K. Le Guin, “A novelist’s business is lying,” which this quite-thoughtful essay on her speculates comes originally from Picasso’s quote, “Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.”

Now, Picasso was, by all accounts, a pompous asshole (and probably an emotional vampire), but he was a talented asshole and in this case, he’s quite right. Great writers don’t just lie to lie. They lie to get at important truths they might not otherwise be able to articulate. I’m going to quote myself from Twitter again (sorry), this time in response to Andrew Dabb’s nonsense about how “writers lie.”

Me: Bad writers lie. Average writers lie pretty. Good writers engage audiences with the truth. Great writers inspire others with the truth.

Also, in context, Le Guin isn’t just saying that writers (well, novelists) lie. She said it in her forward to The Left Hand of Darkness (not my favorite of her books, though I did love some of her others), in response to the idea that science fiction writers should write predictions of the future in their stories. Le Guin was saying that we writers actually are using science fiction to comment on our present. We’re not seers. Don’t put us on a pedestal. We can only present our own, personal truth.

Which is pretty much the opposite of writing a show where the God character is a douchey alter ego to the shallow and self-indulgent writers. That is a cheat, a mean spirited prank on the audience, and poor repayment for our support of the show. Don’t forget that these writers see us all as Becky Rosen.

See you next week with a retro review.


The Kripke Years

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

The Gamble Years

Season 6 (with Kripke)

Season 7

The Carver Years

Season 8

Season 9

Season 10

Season 11

The Dabb Years

Season 12

Season 13

Season 14


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The Official Supernatural: “Jack in the Box” (14.19) Live Recap Thread


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Contribute monthly via Patreon (which includes perks), make a one-time donation through Paypal, or buy us a coffee. You can still find my reviews here of North Carolina ghost story books, and notes about my folklore research on Patreon.

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Scroll down to find links to all of my recaps and reviews of all seasons up to this point.

Quick recap of what a raging dumpster fire of a storyline this whole Jack thing has been of late.

FYI, my part of the state is under a major tornado watch and we’ve had warnings for hours. So, if my power goes out, it goes out. Sorry.

Anyhoo, cut to Now and … hey, remember how there was a whole storyline involving the Hunters Sam organized and trained from the alt-SPNverse who got killed by Michael and then Jack killed him?

Yeah, well, the Bunker is now filled with beer-swilling Hunters whom we haven’t seen for weeks because reasons. Some of them are even survivors from the alt-SPNverse (though no alt-Charlie, because I guess she didn’t care about Mary). Who got massacred besides Maggie a few weeks ago? Who knows? Buck-Leming sure don’t remember.

Yep. It’s a Nepotism Duo episode. I’d better go get some booze.

It’s a Hunter’s wake for Mary. Remember that female Hunter from back when Jack was so sick, who I was hoping would survive? She’s there. Let’s hope these two louses don’t redshirt her.

Dean, Sam and Castiel come in, and Dean gives a speech thanking everyone for coming. As Sam broods beside him and Castiel looks mighty uncomfortable, Dean acknowledges that Mary knew and touched a lot more people than her immediate family, people who might want a space to grieve for her. He praises her Hunting skills while getting some chuckles for talking about her stubbornness and her inability to cook. He just about makes it through the speech without breaking down. Then he and Sam and everyone but Castiel toast her.

Jack, of course, is conspicuously absent. And unmentioned.

The gathering is abruptly and bloodily broken up when a hatchet sails through the air and lands in the head of one of the Hunters. The wielder turns out to be alt-Bobby, fashionably late, and the victim a Wraith-in-disguise with whom Bobby and Mary had tangled during their last Hunt. The body is unceremoniously dragged off while Bobby explains that the Wraith probably stopped by to gloat (and also to search for victims, I’ll bet. This could have been a good MOTW, but ah, well).

Castiel notes that Mary would have appreciated a monster showing up at her wake to get ganked. When Sam comes in, Bobby asks how he is. Sam says not so good. When Bobby asks how Dean is (as Dean comes in to pack up Mary’s photos and such from the wake), Sam says he’s not sure. Bobby says that maybe Dean is like him and doesn’t like to cry in public.

Sam asks Dean if they shouldn’t open a bottle of whiskey and “talk about Mom.” Dean just looks at him as if he’s got five heads and says, isn’t that what they’ve been doing? It’s always struck me how Sam is a bit cold and doesn’t deal with people well emotionally when they’re right in front him. He did a similar thing with John – basically fighting with him when John was alive and then getting all maudlin about him once he was gone. He was similarly arm’s-length with Mary. Even when they were hanging out, there was a part of Sam that seemed detached.

So, not a huge surprise that he’s now getting maudlin over her photos with Bobby, while Dean is nowhere to be seen.

Just as Bobby is starting to ask what Jack did, Dean walks in. Sam and Bobby invite Dean to have a drink when he says he needs one, but he says he needs to go do some stuff alone. Sam says they need to talk about Jack. Dean says they will – later. He leaves.

Bobby gets back on-topic. He says that he liked Jack and even fought with him, but if Jack has truly lost his soul, then he’s basically “Lucifer” now and there’s only one thing to do. “An unstoppable monster who don’t know right from wrong gets put down – or the closest we can get to it. And anybody who don’t know that needs to go back to school.”

Castiel objects, saying that Jack didn’t know any better, or intend to kill Mary, while Sam looks pensive, but Bobby’s not impressed. Neither am I, to be honest. Bobby’s right. Bobby leaves to go gather the mob with pitchforks. We may or may not see him again this week.

Cut to a random warehouse, where Jack is remembering his last conversation with Mary and how it turned out. Jack moans for her to come back, saying that he needs her there to tell him “what to do.”

Fauxifer shows up (because I’m sure we were all just gagging to see this character again). He starts nagging Jack that the Winchesters never loved him, but he is part of Jack’s “DNA” and in that sense, he’s “real” (I’m still suspicious that this is the real Lucifer, or maybe Michael, who is slowly taking Jack over from the inside). Anyhoo, despite his rather weak protests, Jack gives far too much credence to Fauxifer’s claims that his bio daddy loved him. Last time Jack talked to his bio daddy, Lucifer stole his grace and was standing by, smiling, while Jack was stabbing himself to death.

Then again, this entire “soulless” storyline where Jack doesn’t feel any emotions makes no damned sense when Jack obviously does feel emotions and lots of them. In fact, his anger and guilt are precisely what are making him so dangerously unstable at this point. Well, that, and his pride and arrogance.

Jack thinks he can go back to Sam and Dean, and explain to them that Mary’s murder was “an accident.” Fauxifer tells him that they “hate” him (which is about the only thing I agree with Fauxifer on, since Dean certainly does) and that “they don’t even want you as their pet, anymore.” Then he disappears.

Cut to a no-dialogue dramatic shot in the woods at night, of Dean sitting on a stump, sobbing uncontrollably. It’s great acting, but it only lasts 33 seconds, which ain’t long enough by any stretch to save this episode.

Also, I can’t help feeling a bit salty about the story Jensen Ackles told that he had to sit in the woods, freezing, for take after take, because the shot was “cinematic.” Everyone else get to film indoors, but not him. Gee, I wonder why he wants to quit, seeing as how the show has been pulling this crap on him from the beginning.

Anyhoo, this is a pretty important scene, however short. Fauxifer makes it sound as though the Winchesters are petty and sick of Jack, that they tossed him away like a broken toy as soon as he made an honest mistake.

But this scene shows the devastation Jack actually caused. That he took a mother away from her sons (after they’d lost her at a young age and gotten her back after many years). And now one of those sons is sitting on a stump in the middle of the friggin’ woods, crying inconsolably, wounded beyond measure by Jack’s actions.

Jack has wings. He could find Dean, talk to him alone, if he really wanted to make amends, but he’s not there. He was conspicuously absent at Mary’s wake and he’s conspicuously absent here.

Now we go up to Heaven, where Castiel is bugging Duma about where Naomi is. Um … last week, Castiel had to beg just to speak to Duma at the gate of Heaven. Now he can just walk in? These writers, I swear. Get yer canon straight, Nep Duo.

When pressed, Duma claims that Naomi screwed up by “allowing” the Empty Entity into Heaven, so the angels (well, Duma) locked her away. Now Duma is running Heaven because apparently, these same writers have forgotten that Duma got possessed by the Empty Entity during its time in Heaven. Also, the fact that Heaven can’t afford to lose any more angels because there are hardly any left is not mentioned. In fact, Heaven doesn’t see to be suffering any more power outages at all.

Oh, and according to Duma, there are no more archangels because apparently Buck-Leming even forgot about “our” Michael in the Cage.

These two writers give me such a headache.

Castiel beats around the bush a bit and then admits he’s trying to find Jack and that Jack has burned away all of his soul (remember when Jack’s soul and grace needed to exist in balance or he’d die?Yeah … the writers don’t).

Duma thinks this is ironic. Castiel keeps blabbing, admitting that Jack has fled the Winchesters, who are very, very angry with him (Duma notes that this is indeed something to fear), and that he’s become very powerful since killing alt-Michael, but that he needs “guidance.” Duma just walks away, saying “See what I can do.”

Castiel finally gets a look of dawning comprehension that maybe trusting Duma, of all people, with such information wasn’t the smartest choice he ever made.

In the Bunker, Sam is working on his computer when Dean comes in. Dean deflects any question about how he’s feeling. Sam mentions that “Bobby and his crew” are looking for Jack. He and Dean need to find Jack before –

“He kills them all?” Dean asks. Sam looks uncomfortable and says he doesn’t know.

Sam then says he’s been thinking about Mary (see? Arm’s length). He says that most people don’t know how the SPNverse works, that they have to operate on faith. He and Dean know how things really work, that God and angels are real, and so is Heaven.

Dean: God writes paperback books in his underwear, okay? And angels are dicks.

Sam persists, saying that at least he and Dean know Mary is “in a better place” with John.

Dean: Hmm. You know what else? There wasn’t even enough left of her to even try to bring her back.

Yeah, Dean’s not putting up with Sam’s “Try to Look on the Bright Side of Life” approach this week. Did the Nep Duo even notice this episode would be coming out on Maundy Thursday?

Still hanging out in the warehouse, Jack gets a visit from Duma (who somehow found him and was able to get there really quickly without wings. I’ll bet the Nep Duo just plain forgot). Duma is oily as salad dressing. Cleverly leaving out the fact that she refused to let Castiel bring Mary back to earth, she claims that Mary’s death wasn’t his fault. Her mask starts to slip when she goes off on a little rant about how everything was fine until God left and then it all fell apart. But Jack has a “glorious destiny” getting Heaven back on track. Sure. As a battery, maybe.

Jack, being Jack, is dumb enough to believe her.

The first visit on Duma’s intended itinerary is to visit a skeptic who writes atheistic tracts. Duma calls this heresy. Jack’s (truthful) claims that Heaven exists and Jack’s grandfather is God makes the guy laugh. Duma says he can save himself by writing a recantation of his works. The guy, of course, refuses and goes to call security.

At that point, Jack TKs the guy’s phone off the desk. Then he turns the guy into a pillar of salt. While smiling pleasantly. Duma, out of focus behind him, looks a bit uncomfortable, but no omelets without broken eggs, I guess.

Incidentally, for those of you still arguing whether Jack committed murder when he killed Mary, what he does to this guy is murder. And it’s his second. He tortured Nick to death, remember? And he enjoys it.

Castiel goes back to the Bunker and tells the Brothers about what Duma told him, how Heaven is going to help find Jack. Written like a complete moron, Castiel insists to the skeptical Brothers that Heaven is as worried about Jack as he is, but gets worried when Sam pulls up a news story about Doomed Previous Scene Skeptic. Castiel then hands off the Idiot Ball to Dean so that he can infodump for the audience about Lot’s wife being turned into a pillar of salt. Other fans have already pointed out, repeatedly, that Dean mentions that story when first meeting God. So, yeah. Idiot Ball.

Castiel then claims that “no ordinary angel” could turn a human into a table condiment. Hmm, really? ‘Cause I seem to recall Balthazar using a proto-Hand of God to do just that to Raphael’s vessel in season six. But silly me – whyever would these two writers, who are being paid thousands and thousands of dollars to write this script and oversee the Writers Room, actually bother to watch their own show?

Sam moves on to another victim, this time a woman (a fake faith healer) who fell into a crack in the earth and was killed. If anyone’s keeping count, that’s now four murders on Jack’s roster and I’ll bet he enjoyed that one, too. Castiel identifies this one from the Book of Numbers.

Dean says, well, either Chuck’s back (which he doesn’t see happening) or it’s Jack.

Cut to Heaven, where Duma is dodging around Jack’s questions about how impressed and happy the Brothers will be (I just want to note that so far, Jack doesn’t seem to have mentioned Castiel even once – just Sam and Dean). Anyhoo, Duma has more ambitious plans. She wants Jack to make angels. She admits that Jack is not as powerful as God, in that he can’t just “make them out of thin air,” but he can “forge” them out of the souls of “predisposed” people. I’m guessing she means humans who were bred to be vessels. Damn, I miss Dean’s Michael storyline.

Jack thinks this is fine, still smiling. Duma takes him to God’s throne room, saying that his “grandfather” (Chuck) used to sit there and listen to people’s prayers. The Nep Duo apparently forgot that any angel can hear human prayers, from anywhere. Seems Jack can’t hear them unless he sits on Chuck’s throne and “concentrates.”

As he listens, he hears a prayer group full of potential victims – sorry, Christians – praying in thanksgiving to God. They all look perky and dumb. Because these writers despise Christians just as much as they do atheists. They’re equal opportunity in their smug contempt.

As they’re wrapping up, and the woman leading the group says that the Pastor is coming by, Jack flies in. Jack looks more and more insufferable. He starts in on a spiel about whether they were sincere in wanting to go to Heaven and become angels. The latter is actually heretical and the Nepotism Duo would have known that if they’d watched the priest’s speech to his dead colleague in “Houses of the Holy.” Oh, but I forgot – these two can’t be arsed to watch their own show, let alone pay any attention to other writers’ canon.

Anyhoo, the group all agree they’d love to see that, like a bunch of bobbleheads. Jack’s eyes then glow and thunder rumbles outside. Everybody looks confused more than scared and they gasp in awe when Jack shows his wings. When he tells them to “come with me to Heaven,” they’re all for it. Because they’re Plot Stupid.

The Pastor makes the mistake of walking in at that point and getting into an argument with Jack. Jack makes worms eat him from the inside, then takes the group to Heaven.

Oh, but I forgot – Jack’s just a poor, misunderstood woobie. [all the eyerolls]

The Pastor fortunately survives, but he’s in the hospital when the Brothers show up in their FBI suits. They get the whole story from him. He also says that Jack said “he was carrying out Heaven’s orders and that I wasn’t a believer.”

Castiel looks upset and when they come back out of the room, he quotes from the Bible about worms. Oh, and the Pastor didn’t survive, after all. After they leave, he gets eaten up by more worms.

Back at the Bunker, Dean says they only have one option. He shows Sam the Ma’lak Box. Dean says that Jack has to go in of his own free will, but they have to trick him. Sam has issues with “lying” to Jack, because I guess he’s okay with letting Jack fly around, murdering innocent people on Heaven’s orders. Oh, Sam, you never change.

Well, Dean’s not interested in listening to Sam’s nonsense this week. He tells Sam that he has to be the Judas Goat because he’s always stood up for Jack, but Sam has to be willing to do it. Dean’s not going to force him. After some intestinal discomfort, Sam agrees.

At the Heaven’s Gate playground, Castiel approaches an angel wearing a homeless black guy at night in the rain (sure are a lot more angels left than there used to be). Calling him Aramiel, Castiel says he needs to get into Heaven. Aramiel (shocker) tells him he’s banned again, then pulls out an angel blade.

Well, up in Heaven, Jack is turning humans into “angels” without a single issue about the fact that he’s basically doing the same thing to them that happened to him. Is what this is like how Lily Sunder used her soul? That’s not gonna work out too well and these people won’t last long. But then, who even knows if these writers remember all that complex stuff that was only a few episodes ago.

Aramiel shows up in the middle of the process, to the annoyance of Duma. She fakes enthusiasm when Aramiel is tossed aside and it turns out Castiel frog-marched him into Heaven. Jack is all smiley to see him after pretending he didn’t exist for most of the episode.

Castiel asks to see Duma outside. Like a moron, she goes. I’m sure this will end well. Out in the hallway (I really preferred the more naturalistic imagery of season five’s “Dark Side of the Moon”), Castiel admits that he forced Aramiel to tell him about Duma’s big plan to “solidify” her control over Heaven by using Jack. Castiel keeps going on about how Jack is just a child who needs guidance (I am so sick of this line and it makes Castiel look really stupid).

Duma goes off on her own megalomaniac rant about how she’s making Heaven great again. Then she makes a huge mistake – she threatens to end the heaven of Mary and John. When she asks what Castiel is going to do about it, he just stabs her.

Not that I’m going to miss Duma or anything (she was pretty bland), but isn’t Heaven already about to collapse onto earth with billions of souls due to a lack of angels? And if humans having their souls ignited into grace can become angels, why not use the billions of souls already in Heaven instead of looking on earth? God, this is all so very, very dumb.

Back at the Bunker, Sam is having doubts that “it” won’t work. “It” turns out to be praying to Jack. He prays some nonsense about how “bad things happen,” but the Brothers are willing to let bygones be bygones and please come back home.

Castiel is upset when Jack disappears from Heaven. Jack appears in the Bunker. Jack goes off on a fatuous speech about how he’s “helping Heaven purify the world.” About how he’s making new angels. He’s smugly proud of himself, but then declares that he missed Sam and Dean.

Dean is smiling, but it has an edge, while Sam warily paces behind him. Only Jack would be dumb enough not to notice that Dean wants to rip him to shreds (Castiel’s written like a complete moron this week, but even he would notice).

It’s all Dean can do not to rip Jack apart when Jack refers to Mary’s death as an “accident” and actually starts to veer into blaming her for her own murder. When they call him on it, he admits that no, it was him, but still tends to swerve into Blaming the Victim.
Jack is really hateable in this episode, looking smug and proud of himself, while claiming to feel regret for Mary’s death.

The Brothers spring their plan on him to go into the Ma’lak Box until they can fix his soul and dial down his powers. So he can’t hurt anyone (again, they don’t say, but it’s there). Dean lies to his face and so does Sam, about how the box is a temporary solution and they’ve got a more permanent one they can use why he goes into the box. When he asks how long it will be, Sam says, “Not too long.” The smile Dean gives Jack is just like Michael’s.

Well, Jack is dumb, so he gets in the box and lets them close the door. Dean does that and locks the locks. Remember that Dean made the box, so he’s the expert on it. Sam looks conflicted because yeah, Sam doesn’t really care that Jack’s a murderer of innocents.

As soon as he gets in, Jack has second thoughts and calls out to them outside the box because … well, it’s dumb. Afterward, they have that drink Sam talked about at the beginning of the episode and Sam feels bad. Dean tells him that they always knew “it was a long-shot with him.”

Inside the box, Jack starts to get upset, especially when Fauxifer appears to him and mocks him for being so dumb. It’s hard to tell through the colossally incompetent writing (Jack, for example, supposedly having no emotions while clearly operating on them), but it seems that if Jack’s subconscious were that smart, he’d never have been so dumb throughout this episode in the first place. So, I’m still leaning toward Fauxifer being real.

Castiel comes back, declaring that Jack is not really bad because Duma was manipulating him (conveniently leaving out the part where he killed her), and they have to find him. The Brothers tell him Jack is in the Ma’lak Box and they’re leaving him there.

Castiel gets mad because hey, only he gets to keep secrets and betray family (like Duma), amirite? While they bicker, Fauxifer gets Jack to bust his way out of the Ma’lak Box (because let’s just blow the shit out of even more canon). Jack blows up half the Bunker and as TFW rushes to the Dungeon, they find Jack, with glowing eyes, coming out of the smoke. Or maybe it’s Jack. Who even knows at this point?

Credits

Just FYI, since the Brothers are still here next week, you can expect this cliffhanger to get resolved as limply as the one where Jack “killed” Michael and re-upped his powers.

Ratings this week were down again (apparently, the general audience isn’t particularly wild about this storyline) to 0.3/2 and 1.28 million.

The promo, synopsis, photos and such are here.

Review

While watching “Jack in the Box,” I couldn’t help thinking that Padalecki, Ackles and Collins must have gotten this script not long before they called it quits – and wondering if this was the final straw for them. The writing’s that bad. If they looked at it and believed it wasn’t going to get any better (because they’d be stuck with these two incompetents for executive producers, not that Dabb’s much better), then that could have been it for them. If so, I’m sorry, but they may have a point because this episode was boring and incoherent in equal measure.

I really don’t want to watch this show if Jack is in it this year. I was already disenchanted with him weeks ago, but this was the final nail in the … uh … Ma’lak Box, as it were. Jack’s characterization was all over the place (ranging from devastated to smug), the Brothers were barely in the episode (especially egregious, since it should have been All About their grief, not woobying their mother’s murderer), and everyone got a turn at the Idiot Ball – except that Castiel got an extra few turns. At this point, I think Jack needs to fuck off back to the Land of Terrible Writing – sorry, the Empty – and never return.

I mean, it’s only one more season, so I can slog through it, but I’d really rather not do it that way. I’d like a good final season. I don’t see that happening as long as we’ve got Cousin Oliver/Scrappy-Doo around.

I’m reminded of a line from the movie Bull Durham, from a character who just came out of pitching a disaster of a baseball game: “It was like pouring gasoline on a fire!” That was this episode in a nutshell. I can’t even with Castiel, who was written like a complete moron and utter hypocrite. Not only does he slaughter yet another angel sibling (while babbling about the importance of family for how many episodes now?), but he lies about it to the Brothers and keeps insisting that they give Jack more and more rope. Boy, everybody forgot all about Jack wanting to kill Dean while Dean was possessed by Michael awful quick.

The writers have Sam, Dean and Castiel bicker over what is a really a pretty clear (though bleak) choice for no other reason than fake drama. What’s especially disturbing is how dismissive Sam and Castiel are of the murders Jack commits in this episode of innocent human beings. What happened to “saving people,” guys?

Castiel wants to believe that Jack would never have committed them if Duma hadn’t been manipulating him. But no one (as far as we know) was manipulating Jack when he murdered Nick and Mary, and the moment when he actually started to blame Mary for her own death, in front of her sons, was so very punchable. If Dean still had the Mark, Jack would have been nothing but a wet spot of blood on the floor after that, Nephilim powers or no.

Duma and her death represent two very unpleasant patterns in this storyline. First, there is the way Jack is treated and fawned over like spoiled royalty. Jack constantly puffing up over being Chuck’s “grandson” is especially ludicrous, considering Chuck made it clear in season 11 that he considers all of his creations his children – and that he prefers humans over angels. If anything, Jack is an extra step away from God, not toward. The funny thing is that this episode actually showed emphatically (again) that Jack is not God because he cannot create – he can only distort and destroy.

The overall effect makes me want someone to come in and knock him back down a peg, and I’d really prefer it be Dean. Too bad it didn’t take the first time, when Lucifer stole his powers. It’s infuriating to see almost everyone in-story blame Dean for not being “tolerant” when Jack is running around loose, murdering people and enjoying it. One of those victims was Dean’s mother. He has every right to be devastated, angry and vengeful. Just what show do these writers think they’re writing or some fans think they’re watching?

That’s a really frustrating part of this storyline. Jack supposedly was learning all these things about morality over the past two seasons and as soon as he “lost” his soul, he promptly forgot them all. His learning curve was completely erased. If Jack really can’t learn enough about being good to be able to navigate at least some way without a soul after two years, then he’s not really redeemable. And if he’s not redeemable, then Bobby and Dean are right – he’s gotta go.

The other pattern is disturbing in light of the justifications some fans want to give for Jack (vociferously, even). Jack is a cute little white boy who hurts people when he gets angry and then expects to be forgiven when he feels “sorry,” afterward. Sure, that’s not an abusive pattern, or anything.

His entire storyline has been propped up by discarded female characters. When they’re not being fridged to forward his storyline (like Kelly, Dagon, Maggie, Mary and Duma), they’re being threatened and diminished (like Kaia, Stacy and Rowena), or they’re being his mindless cheerleaders (like Duma and Mia Vallens). Dean gets blamed a lot for what happens to these characters, but it’s Jack who actually damages and discards them when he’s done with them. Some of these characters are Women of Color, too. Or LGBT.

I’m really tired of storylines where women only exist to prop up some boy.

And yet, there are fans who will excoriate the show (i.e., Dean) for being sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, even racist, while praising and defending Jack to the skies. I talked last week about the misogyny aimed at Mary as a character, how some fans (even female fans) were happy to blame her death on herself. This is a clear and unfortunate case of how invisible internalized misogyny can be, even among people who believe they are “woke.”

I sure hope the season finale (next week) doesn’t suck, but that hope may be forlorn. It’s not looking good. I’m almost glad the show was only 20 episodes this season.


The Kripke Years

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

The Gamble Years

Season 6 (with Kripke)

Season 7

The Carver Years

Season 8

Season 9

Season 10

Season 11

The Dabb Years

Season 12

Season 13

Season 14


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The Official Supernatural: “Absence” (14.18) Live Recap Thread


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We start with a recap of Jack’s Boring-Ass Super-Baby plot (including a bit about Jack declaring himself a Winchester), and of Nick trying to call Lucifer back from the Empty, and then what happened at the end of last week.

We then cut to the Brothers entering the Bunker, calling for Mary and Jack. I am so very sick and tired of the old “Meanwhile, back at the ranch” nonsense this show likes to pull, where they build up a tense cliffhanger and then cut away to something that completely drains off that tension.

Anyhoo, the Brothers are pretty okay with Mary and Jack’s absence (see what I did there?) – perhaps more than they should be, considering the way Jack zipped in and out after healing Sam – and counting their lucky stars over being grateful to Jack. At least, until Dean calls Mary and her phone buzzes next to her backpack at the end of the table, which they somehow managed not to notice until now. (Also, where the hell is Donatello? You know, the guy they spent last week rescuing?)

So, they call Jack.

Cut to Captain Dumbass himself, hearing his phone ring, and discovering (this is how many times now?) that great pride goeth before a very great fall.

Cue title cards.

Sam is calling around, trying to find Mary and Jack. He just got off the phone with Rowena (who says she has a finding spell in action) and had previously talked to Bobby, Charlie and Donna. Dean just got off the phone with Jody. Nobody has heard a thing.

Dean gets a call from Castiel, who is horrified to hear that Jack is out alone with Mary. Castiel tells Dean about Jack killing the snake and Dean hangs up on him. Dean tells Sam about the snake, but downplays it as not a big deal. His hanging up on Castiel says otherwise.

Sam decides to track Jack’s phone. They find out that Jack is flying all over the world to different places. Cut to Jack, who is back at the cabin where he fried Nick and did whatever to Mary (who still hasn’t shown up yet). After some flashbacks to remind us that Jack and Mary spent half of last season together in the alt-SPNverse, Jack is accosted by a familiar figure – Nickifer. Turns out he’s not real (or claims not to be). He’s just Jack’s Id. Or something.

I don’t know what kind of hard-on this show has going for Lucifer, but I wish they’d stop now.

Fauxifer lets the cat out of the bag – Jack has killed Mary. Jack claims it was an accident. Fauxifer says that’s wrong. Why isn’t Jack calling the Winchesters if he truly believes it’s something he can take back?

Jack yells at Fauxifer and makes him disappear. I’m sure that won’t last.

In the car, on their way to the cabin (which they’ve managed to pinpoint thanks to Jack’s phone), Sam dithers, trying to figure out what’s going on with Jack. Dean can’t take any more white noise and tells him to shut up.

They arrive at the cabin, late at night. Sam looks inside while Dean searches around outside. Sam finds a very dead Nick in the cabin (nice reaction shot from Jared Padalecki). Sam calls to Dean, who has found something potentially far worse – a whole part of the surrounding area that is nothing but gray ash. I’m guessing that ash is the mortal remains of one Mary Winchester.

Castiel in his car is having a flashback (these are in black-and-white) to hunting vampires with Mary. Mary miscounted the number of vampires and got beaten up (she has a black eye), but she took care of the third one. She’s eating while scratched up. When Castiel offers to heal her, she demurs. She admits to being still wary of angels and new to this resurrection thing.

Castiel tells her that Sam and Dean are happy to have her back, that finally, they’re no longer alone. Mary smiles when she looks at him, saying “They were never alone.”

Castiel enters the cabin while Dean is showing no regrets over Nick’s death and Sam is waffling. Sam mentions the ashy “blast site” to Castiel, saying it was angelic.

Dean gets upset at Castiel and says that if Mary is dead, “you’re dead to me.”

Castiel tries to explain, with tears, that he was worried about Jack, but didn’t want to screw up their family. He says he doesn’t think Jack is evil, but that he now has an “absence of good.”

Dean just gets mad all over again. It doesn’t help when Rowena calls. She says she can’t track Jack because his energy is “too unstable, like looking at the sun.” She also has really bad news: “Mary Winchester is no longer on this earth.”

Neither brother takes this well (for that matter, neither does Castiel). Sam looks broken, while Dean turns away, gripping a chair and then smashing it against a wall.

Dean then turns back and he’s cold. When Sam asks what will they do now? Dean says, “What we always do when we lose someone – we fight.” He points out that Rowena has the Book of the Damned and has resurrected herself. Maybe they can resurrect Mary again.

Castiel says they don’t even know where she is, so Dean snaps at him, “Then go to Heaven and find her!”

Meanwhile, Rowena is getting an unexpected visitor – Jack. She tells him that Sam and Dean are looking for him (he’s been ducking their calls).

Jack says he needs magic and admits he killed Mary. He says he just wanted her gone, just for a second, but that’s all it took. He wants Rowena to help him “undo it.”

Rowena admits that her usual way of resurrecting herself requires being put in place beforehand. Jack mentions the Book of the Damned. Rowena allows that there is a spell. Agnes, the witch who created the book, did so in captivity. She brought back her friends (who starved to death with her) via a spell called the Magicae Necromantiorum.

When Jack asks her about the ingredients, she says they’re “simple” and can be found in the Bunker, but the spell itself requires “great power.” Then Dean starts banging on the door, calling for Rowena (why would he be that dumb? Come on) and Jack realizes Rowena was “stalling” him.

Rowena tries to reason with him, telling him “they’re your kin.” But Jack is committed to going Full-On Stupid. He grabs her and flies off just as the Brothers bust in.

Castiel, meanwhile (or later on, because it’s daylight and Rowena got kidnapped at night), is at the playground that is the stairway to Heaven. He calls out to any angels who might be guarding it, but no one answers. He tries angel speak and calls Naomi’s name. No response.

Jack has arrived back at the Bunker with a captive Rowena in tow. He walks past a spot with knife marks. He has a flashback to Mary teaching him to throw knives (while Dean was gone and possessed by Michael). The flashback continues after Jack leaves as Mary and Sam (who just came in and still has the hiatus beard) have a heart-to-heart. Mary apologizes to Sam for being a lousy parent and says he’s been an “amazing” son.

We cut back to Sam. It turns out the latter half of the flashback was his. He’s still in Rowena’s office. Dean is pacing around, trying to figure things out.

Dean is still angry with Castiel. Sam, for once, admits that he has as much responsibility as Castiel, if not more. He says that Dean had warned everyone last season that Jack was dangerous and was ignored (nay, ridiculed, even, y’all). Sam says he made the call to bring Jack back from Heaven. And after Maggie and the other alt-Hunters died, Sam bailed on everyone. Sam knew Jack was dangerous, but he had also become family, so Sam ignored it.

Dean sits down and tries to comfort Sam by admitting Donatello tried to warn him, saying Jack was so powerful that it was impossible to tell if he was really okay. But he ignored it.

At the Bunker, Jack is impatient (also looking strung out), but Rowena tells him the spell takes time. She points out that she could have “fought” him before, even if she probably would have lost, but she wants the same thing he and the Brothers want – to bring Mary back.

Fauxifer shows up (Rowena looks around, but can’t see him) and badgers Jack about how he doesn’t really feel guilt or other emotions, anymore. Jack gets angry and Fauxifer disappears again. Rowena says she’s done. They now need only one thing – Mary’s body. Jack looks a little horrified. Yes, Jack, where is Mary’s body?

At the playground, Castiel refuses to leave until Naomi shows up. An angel then does appear, but it’s not Naomi. It’s Duma. You know … Duma. The angel who wanted to use Jack to create more angels. Duma. The angel who was possessed by the Empty Entity. So, it’s kind of interesting that she’s an even bigger bitch than ever.

Duma claims that Castiel’s mission (bringing Mary back) is pointless. Mary is “at peace.” She died “painlessly” and “instantly” and all that jazz. She calls Mary “complete.”

At the scene of the crime, Rowena is still trying to get Jack to tell her where Mary’s body is. Yeah, it’s that charred spot Dean found. Yuck.

Jack says he’ll do the spell himself. Rowena says magic spells don’t really work that well without concentration, which Jack doesn’t have. She says that whatever he brings back, it won’t be Mary.

Jack slams her back into her office – literally. As she calls the Brothers and warns them about the ugly side effects of necromancy-gone-wrong (as if they need that lesson), Jack does the spell himself. A big, pink, glowing, donut-shaped cloud appears overhead. Wind starts to blow, just as the Brothers show up in the car. The Impala’s engine abruptly dies.

The Brothers get out and run toward the site. They arrive just as the pink cloud disappears. Jack is looking down at something, then turns back to them. He says, “It didn’t work” and then flies away.

Mary (or a body that looks like her) is lying on the ground, but she’s dead. Dean runs to her and picks her up. Sam crouches down besides him and cries.

We get one more flashback to Dean and Mary in the car (from last episode?). It’s the shortest one of all. Mary is asleep on his shoulder and Dean smiles.

Then we cut back to the present and reality, which is the show fridging Mary Winchester, Family Matriarch, all over again. Classy, Show. Classy.

Cut to Jack in some random warehouse, being “commiserated” with by Fauxifer. Fauxifer tells him that Castiel, Sam and Dean will never trust him again and now he can’t trust them, either.

In the Bunker, Sam is looking at photos of Mary. Castiel comes in. He says that Mary is in Heaven and “at peace.” He mentions that he spoke to Duma, not Naomi. Duma did eventually let him in and he saw Mary’s heaven. She’s with John. Castiel tries to sugar-coat it, but it’s basically just their parents abandoning the Brothers all over again.

Sam says he talked to Rowena and that Jack only brought back “an empty shell,” a “replica.” Sam wonders what they will do now.

Dean, who has come in, says, “What we always do.” And that turns out to be a Hunter’s funeral. We get a montage of Mary in life as Sam puts one of her photos on the fire. Castiel tries to go to Dean, who is just standing off to one side, staring at the flames, face hard and deadly cold, but Sam holds him back.

There’s a final shot of the initials Sam and Dean carved into the table, with Mary’s now also carved in (they weren’t near the beginning of the episode).

Credits

Ratings for this week went up a bit to a 0.4 and 1.47 million. I guess people were more interested in Mary in death than life.

The promo, etc. for next week is up here.

FYI, the entire season up to this point is now available on Amazon, as well as a season pass. If you’ve been buying episodes as you go along, it appears that the season pass is free.

Review

What the hell was that?

I keep reminding myself that this part of the season, even in my favorite seasons, was usually pretty damned bad. If it wasn’t, it was because the season had “ended” prematurely with a satisfying conclusion and then gone on too long to a cliffhanger for the next season. But damn, it’s been tough to remember that this season. So many wasted opportunities. So many poor writing decisions. So much crap.

And now they’ve fridged Mary. Again. Once again, a female character was killed off in support of a (much younger) male character and his storyline. Which wasn’t any damned good in the first place.

Fandom’s response was rather strange. There was a lot of talk from the usual quarters about what a wonderful goodbye and tribute it was (it wasn’t). There were fans who didn’t like Mary, anyway, and had no problems articulating their indifference to her fate. Then there were the Jack (and even Lucifer) stans who tried to justify what Jack did by saying Mary caused her own murder (by badgering Jack). Blame the Victim is totally a thing in some parts of our culture, especially if the victim is a woman, older and not following a path of traditional femininity.

So, fandom misogyny (much of it internalized) was definitely a thing when it came to opinions on Mary. But that was influenced by the misogyny (some of it internalized) in how she was written. So, let’s look at that, first.

Mary was brought back at the very end of Jeremy Carver’s tenure as showrunner. A fair bit of ink has been spilled speculating how much of the end of season 11 Carver was still involved in. Considering how well it hung together (in retrospect) and how Mary was treated in subsequent seasons, I’m gonna go with “quite a bit.”

Dabb&Co. never seemed to know what to do with Mary. They acted as if she were the character equivalent of anthrax. Hell, they acted as if she were the equivalent of Bela Talbot and we all know how that turned out (by the way, Whiskey Cavalier has its own issues, but it’s a pretty decent show).

Thing is, Bela was just an annoying antagonist/love interest for one season. Mary is a core character of Supernatural. She’s the first one we ever saw on the show and if we do get a Butch-and-Sundance ending with the Brothers in Heaven, she could well be in the last shot, too. So, intentionally screwing her up is a whole lot more problematical. Makes me wonder if this stellar writing decision was the straw that broke the “Fuck, let’s just make next season the last” dromedary’s back. The timing would be about right.

I suppose one could argue that Carver dumped her return in the remaining writers’ laps and left them to figure it out. That would, however, ignore the part where Dabb, Buckner, Ross-Leming and a few others had been around for most, even all, of the Carver years and surely were on board when this idea was originally floated. So, let’s not cry too hard for them, Supernatural fandom.

The sad thing is that Mary was never really allowed to outgrow her roles as wife and mother (in that order), even though doing that retconned her background from season four’s “In the Beginning.” As many were the problems that prematurely sank Grimm, those writers did at least introduce the title character’s Grimm mom as a true badass who, underneath her cold exterior, cared about her son very much. Even if they, too, didn’t know what to do with her and fridged her later (told you that show had problems).

Supernatural kept Telling us that Mary was a great Hunter, but most of the time, it Showed her as a Damsel in Distress, or a supporting Mom character, or somebody’s girlfriend. Samantha Smith may be getting a bit old for Katniss-style heroics, but that didn’t mean they had to make Mary look weak, either.

Imagine if, instead of getting dragged all over charred hill and yon by Lucifer in early season 13, Mary had bailed on him early, and hooked up with alt-Bobby and the Resistance. Imagine if, instead of basically falling into John’s arms when they were reunited in “Lebanon,” she had given him a brief, fierce kiss, then the bitchslap of all bitchslaps, followed by a hotly worded speech along the lines of “What the hell did you do to my boys? You forced Dean to replace me as Sam’s mom! I’ve been dealing with your parental fallout for two years! I died for three decades! What was your damned excuse?!”

Now don’t tell me that the parts of fandom that were pissed off at her for not standing up for Sam and Dean, for abandoning them all the time (especially Dean) after she got back, wouldn’t have forgiven her a whole lot for such a speech. Sure, the John stans wouldn’t have been happy, but when half the fandom thinks your Lead Characters’ Mom character is worse than their abusive Dad character, you gotta do something to right that morality ship. I mean, come on.

This is where we get into the misogyny from fandom. Fandom has often been extra-hard on female characters. Yeah, some of that was down to crappy writing, but some fans are also just plain willing to give equivalent male characters a whole lot more rope. John is a complete son of a bitch to his sons, even when he’s trying to half-ass apologize to them in “Lebanon,” but he’s just misunderstood. Mary can’t cook worth a damn and she’s the WORST MOM EVER. Crowley is a vicious misogynist and unapologetic opportunist who tortures and kills for fun or boredom, and he’s just a little boy lost. Rowena tries fruitlessly to bring back her son, after regretting screwing him up, by trying to kill Death (which is pretty badass) and she’s a NARCISSISTIC EVOL HOEBAG.

This is, of course, not to say that when a female character is hated (coughLadyBevellcoughcoughIhadtolookuphernamebecauseIgotsousedtocallingher”TheTwat”coughcoughcough), it’s always because the fans are internalizing misogyny. Some female characters are just plain poorly written. Some are even intended to be hateful. Ruby, bless her demonic heart, was both.

But Mary is one that exists at an intersection between bad writing and bad expectations. There are male characters who have been written just as poorly (or worse) as Mary, but have been forgiven and become beloved, either/both by the writers or by the fandom.

Speaking of, there’s Jack. Woof, talk about bad writing. Poor Alex Calvert has done a lot to make Jack palatable, even relatable and likable, over the past two seasons, but the character has a lot of problems. Most of them stem from Jack’s ongoing role as a Cousin Oliver/Scrappy-Doo, Super Baby Variant. What that boils down to is that Jack is a walking Gary Stu.

Think about it: Jack is almost immediately accepted by the lead characters. They even treat him as their son. In fact, their own mother treats him more like a son than her own kids. He has special, sparkly powers that make him more powerful than any of the other characters in the story and give him a special, sparkly destiny. He has a special, sparkly birth and ancestry (and a special, sparkly connection to the show’s #1 Supervillain). He has a Savior Complex. He is (or at least feels) frequently misunderstood.

Conclusion: He’s a Gary Stu.

This makes it doubly, even triply, unlikely that he can come back from this, since it knocks him right off his Gary Stu pedestal. Murdering Mary is quite bad enough. And it was murder, not an accident like the guy who got knocked into a pole last season (in “Tombstone”). Jack is quite capable of not using lethal force, yet chose to use it. However brief the impulse, however much he regrets it now, he intended to kill in that moment, therefore it’s murder.

I suppose it’s possible Dean might eventually forgive Jack murdering Dean’s mother (these writers would probably have Sam waffle), but it would require better writing than we currently have, at least on the mytharc level. And it would probably take longer than the show has left. And it leaves aside the part where no one in TFW (not even Crowley, who sure tried hard) has ever actually killed his or her mother, yet Jack has now done it twice – first with his birth mother and now with his surrogate mother who was in the alt-SPNverse with him for months last season. It’s a TFW point of no return.

Now if Jack had stuck around and accepted the consequences of his reckless actions, maaaayyyyybe it would have been different. But he didn’t. He ran. And how he’s letting his darker side dictate his choices and talk him into believing he wasn’t the one to blame.

The show argues that Jack gets whiny and flails about and pins the blame on others because he’s lost (most of?) his soul and can’t feel emotions. But Donatello isn’t like that. And there were episodes of exposition about how Jack had to live in a balance between his soul and his grace, that if he lost one or the other, he would die. So, if he’s lost his soul (or even most of it) shouldn’t he just drop dead? That balance is gone.

Let’s not get into how the writers forgot that once Jack “ate” Michael’s grace, he no longer needed to drain his soul to fuel his powers. Yet, they had characters continue to worry that Jack was still draining his soul.

Further, Jack clearly does feel emotions throughout the episode. He’s shocked, horrified, depressed, angry and ashamed – otherwise, he wouldn’t have bothered to run (well, fly) from Sam and Dean. Also, since he has angelic grace (and angels definitely feel emotions), his angelic side ought to at least be feeling emotion. He’s not only human. He’s half-human and half-angel (AKA sparkly Gary Stu powers). The show wants to have it both ways with him, which, again, is a sign that he’s not only a Gary Stu, but a Creator’s Pet.

It doesn’t help that this is a repetitious storyline (pillaged with almost no filing off of serial numbers from the Dark Willow storyline in Buffy the Vampire Slayer) that shows Jack as a slow learner and someone who will pretty much always go with his pride in his powers even over love and concern for others.

Jack has already accidentally killed someone while using his powers. He regretted it. He lost his powers due to being stupid. He regretted it. He got some semblance of his powers back for use as life support. He abused it and ignored every warning not to do so. This past episode, right before he murdered Mary, he murdered Nick. It doesn’t matter that Nick really deserved it. What matters is how much Jack enjoyed it.

One might argue that Dean and Sam have killed a lot of people, some of them human, and often thoroughly enjoyed it. But they’re fundamentally different from Jack in a couple of ways. For a start, they have learned from those experiences to have different limits.

For example, in last week’s episode, Sam nearly strangled Nick to death. It seemed Plot Stupid for Sam to stop when he did, “allowing” Nick to smack him over the head with a rock. But on top of strangling being a deeply personal and vicious way to kill someone, it has especially ugly and troubling undertones for Sam. This is the way Sam nearly killed Dean near the end of season four, before going off with Ruby. The show never directly referenced it (say, by replacing Nick’s face for a second with Dean’s), but whether or not the writers intended it, that is part of show history and the subtext is there.

Sam learned that that was a hard limit, that he crossed it, that it damaged his relationship with his brother for a very long time, and that he doesn’t want to do it again, to anybody. Not really. Not even if it gets him smacked upside the head with a rock.

The other thing is that they don’t have Jack’s powers. Right now, Jack is like Anthony in the short story-turned-Twilight Zone episode “It’s a Good Life.” He can do almost anything (well … except for bringing Mary back to life; or reconciling with her sons) to almost anybody and he is addicted to it. He has a White Knight attitude a light year wide, but the reality is that he uses his powers because they feel good. He wants his powers to be good because that’s an excuse to use them.

Much has been said about his lack of impulse control due to being, in age, still a toddler. But that isn’t actually an argument in his favor. The world shouldn’t have to wait until he grows up and gains some wisdom if that radically increases the chances that the world won’t still be there once he does.

Really, I think the only way Jack can stick around past the end of the season (or next season’s premiere, if they do a cliffhanger involving him) is if he’s rendered powerless again. And even then, that would be … another repetitive storyline. One could still argue (especially after Fauxifer showed up) that Lucifer is possessing him. The possibility that this is all some Michael plot (Michael hated Mary whenever he bothered to think about her and it would be another way to break Dean) also remains strong. But I don’t think that would help Jack, since Jack is still making decisions as himself, just really crappy and unsympathetic ones.

As you may have noticed, Sam, Dean and Castiel got short shrift in this episode, despite it being Sam and Dean’s mother whose death created “absence” in their lives. Dean is furious with Castiel and some Destiel fans are up in arms about it. I say, hey, at least Dean isn’t trying to get Death to reap him this time. So, they’re better off than that. There’s a bit of Xena-hating-Gabrielle-after-Gabrielle’s-daughter-murdered-Xena’s-son from Xena: Warrior Princess in this conflict, though the serial numbers are better-filed-off. Castiel feels bad. Dean doesn’t want to hear it. Sam, for once, is playing referee.

But I think they’ll eventually reconcile.

Finally, I found Duma’s appearance to Castiel … unnerving. When last we saw Duma, she had just been possessed by the Empty Entity. She’s always been a bit cold and dodgy, but that was on overdrive this week. Her language in reference to Mary (“Mary Winchester is complete”) reminded me of the Empty Entity. And I was suspicious that Naomi never showed up. Makes me wonder if the EE never actually left Heaven.


The Kripke Years

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

The Gamble Years

Season 6 (with Kripke)

Season 7

The Carver Years

Season 8

Season 9

Season 10

Season 11

The Dabb Years

Season 12

Season 13

Season 14


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The Official Supernatural: “Game Night” (14.17) Live Recap Thread


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Ugh. I’ve been putting this off because various things, but also, I just can’t even with this stupid Jack plot. Anyhoo.

Recap of said boring-ass plotline. Also a brief recap of Anael and a longer one of Nick, which shows how terrible it is. Then back to Jack’s boring-ass powers plotline.

Cut to Now.

Donatello is baking cookies and such. He has a nice kitchen. The doorbell rings. When he answers, he’s attacked and tied to a table to the tune of “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” (the theme song from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid). The still-unseen figure injects him with something.

Cue title cards.

Cut to the Bunker, where Mary and Jack are setting up a “game night” for Dean, while Sam is out getting food. Jack is concerned that Dean isn’t enjoying it because he’s in the other room, yelling at the game. Mary just says that Mousetrap was Dean’s favorite game when he was a kid, as Jack pops popcorn.

Mary then asks Jack how he’s feeling and Jack says that “everyone keeps asking me that.” He also acts like a brat, calling her concern “annoying.” Yeah, have I mentioned how much I don’t like Jack with superpowers? Such a smug little jerk.

Game night is interrupted by a voicemail Dean gets from Donatello. Donatello is begging for help then breaks out into what sounds like Enochian. Dean decides to head out with Mary to help Donatello because he can’t get hold of Sam (whose voicemail tells the caller that if it’s an emergency, they should call his brother. I kid you not). He leaves Jack with the voicemail to run for Sam (to see if Sam can decipher it).

Meanwhile, at a honky-tonk diner, Anael (Sister Jo) is entering and sitting down to a table with Castiel to the sound of Jackie Stewart’s “Maybe Tomorrow” from 1968. Castiel has a gift for her – “16th century Burmese blood rubies, 5 carats.” Castiel admits that they’re “lightly cursed,” but not in any way that would affect an angel like Anael. He also admits that he wants to trade for something – her help in contacting God.

It turns out that Anael had once been Joshua’s right-hand angel (yeah … still salty about the way they killed him off). Chuck only ever spoke to Joshua, but Castiel says Anael knew things about how they communicated. He tells her about how Jack killed Michael (yeah … still salty about that, too) and burned off most of his soul, possibly all.

Everyone’s ongoing concern about the state of Jack’s soul confuses me. After acquiring Michael’s grace, can’t he just use that now?

Anael guesses (correctly) that Castiel needs to find Chuck because only Chuck can restore a soul and that the Winchesters don’t know he’s there, talking to her.

At first, Anael won’t help, insisting that because Chuck always spoke to Joshua, not the other way around, she doesn’t know how to contact Chuck. But when Castiel starts to take back the rubies, she coughs up one bit of info. It turns out that after the Fall (end of season eight), Joshua “placed a long-distance call” to Chuck and Chuck actually answered. At least, that’s the rumor. She wasn’t there, but she knows who was and can take Castiel to see them.

Back at the Bunker, Sam is upset that Dean and Mary left without him. Dean tells him over the phone that it’s fine. Sam insists it’s not. Sam, you gotta get over this attachment disorder thing, really.

Anyhoo, Sam says the voice message isn’t Enochian. Dean notes that it was as if Donatello was “speaking in tongues.” Sam says he thinks it’s Ancient Hebrew. He and Jack are working on a translation.

In the car with Mary, Dean notes that Sam “sounds stressed.” Mary points out that he and Jack do, too. She says she wishes she could do more and Dean tells her she is, just by being there. Mary mourns that she should have been around more since she came back, but that she can be “closed off, hard.” Dean shrugs and says, “That’s where I get it from.”

Mary adds that she’s “grateful” for the second chance. Yeah, that’s never a good sign for a character. She might as well write out a Hunter’s will.

Back at the Bunker, Sam suddenly realizes that Donatello is quoting from the Bible – the First Book of Peter, verse 8. I facepalm at this really obvious gaffe in the writing because that book is originally in Greek, not Hebrew. Too bad, too, because the verse is a good one (it was part of a Templar regulation about hunting lions): “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour, whom resist steadfast in the faith.”

Anyhoo, Dean and Mary arrive at Donatello’s house to find a voice recording of him pleading. It’s left on the table he’d been tied to previously. Out of the kitchen (as Dean and Mary snap up their weapons) comes a very smug Nick.

Dean cuffs Nick and interrogates him, while Mary searches the house. The house is empty of Donatello, though Mary finds the hypodermic. Nick claims he injected Donatello with thallium and that he will die within a day. Basically, he says, he did for kicks and to get the Winchesters’ attention. He has a livestream on his phone of Donatello, tied up in some random warehouse (couldn’t they trace that? Nick’s no computer genius). Dean threatens Nick, but Nick doesn’t care.

With an eyeroll that most of the fandom can totally sympathize with at this point, Mary asks, “What do you want?” Nick says he wants to talk. Of course he does. Dear God, I am so over this storyline.

Cut to Castiel and Anael pulling up at a place called Orlando’s Emporium. It turns out that Methuselah lives there. He gave Joshua shelter after the Fall. At first, he won’t cooperate at all, even when Castiel threatens to burn down the building. But when Castiel lets his eyes glow, Methuselah suddenly realizes they’re angels (really? He couldn’t have figured that out earlier? He’s Methuselah). But all he’ll tell them is that Joshua used a “thingamajig” that is somewhere in the warehouse.

Back at the Bunker, Sam attacks Nick as Dean and Mary are bringing him in. Dean tells him, not yet. They have to find Donatello first. Later, in the Library, they try to figure out what Nick’s game is. Sam offfhandedly says there’s an antidote to thallium, Prussian Blue. Well, yeah, but that doesn’t reverse the damage the thallium does in the meantime. Jeez, show. So many stupid mistakes.

Dean goes to interrogate Nick in the dungeon. Sam wants to go with him, but Dean tells Sam he’s too angry and would kill Nick offhand. Also, Show, last time I checked, Dean is the master torturer here. You know, Alastair’s star pupil?

After Dean leaves, Mary talks Sam down. Sam is upset because he let Nick go and a cop is now dead (pretty sure Nick just beat that cop up in the hospital). Mary tells Sam that it wasn’t a bad choice and that he let Nick go because “you felt for him.” Nah, Mary. Sam’s right. Letting Nick go was a dumb move.

In the warehouse, Castiel and Anael talk about Chuck as they look for Joshua’s “Bat Phone.” Anael is skeptical that it will make any difference or that Chuck will respond. She says that before she came to earth, she truly believed. But once she came down, she saw how flawed humans were, but also how Chuck refused to help them. When she asked Joshua why, Joshua said that God didn’t like to “meddle.”

Anael insists that she prefers to “meddle” (i.e., help). And that’s why she walked away from being Joshua’s assistant. Castiel reminds her that she’s always said she does it for the money and she retorts, “Then you haven’t been paying attention.”

She claims that she’s “happy” and doesn’t need Chuck or Heaven. Castiel says that sounds “lonely” and points out that Chuck has brought him back several times. Anael points out that Chuck bringing back one angel, while letting millions of people die “screaming” every day doesn’t exactly make Chuck a cuddly god.

She’s got a point, Cas.

Back at the Bunker – down in the dungeon, to be exact – Dean is beating on Nick, though so far, without much luck. He does, however, get something out of him when Nick goes off on a little rant about how they have something in common. They were both possessed by archangels. Nick asks Dean, doesn’t he miss the power? I guess Nick doesn’t know that Dean was strong enough to hold Michael prisoner for a while inside his own head. That’s power.

Erhmagerd! A dropped plot we’ve all been wondering about! Watch quick, ’cause this doesn’t last long.

Dean shrugs it off (or appears to), but he does get something out of Nick – Nick wants to talk to “my son.” Alone.

Back in the Library, Mary doesn’t miss the Freudian slip of Nick calling Jack his son, as it were. Jack is willing to talk to Nick (I like the little hesitation Calvert puts in as Jack tries to figure out what the right emotional response is), though Dean thinks it’s a terrible idea. But Sam weighs in that Donatello is dying, so it’s worth a shot. I’m with it being a terrible idea.

Jack goes to talk to Nick and demands to know where Donatello is. Nick tries to get into his head and is more successful than he was with Dean. He claims to Jack that Lucifer loved Jack. The dumbest part is that Jack appears to be moved to almost believe it.

This is totally idiotic. I get that Jack is young, but he must still vividly remember how Lucifer stole his grace and then stood by grinning as after he manipulated Jack into trying to kill himself. Jack surely whined about it enough earlier this season. None of that rhymes with love.

Jack gets mad and attacks Nick who … headbutts him? He bloodies Jack’s nose. Jack heals himself, then leans over Nick threateningly as his eyes glow yellow. But in the end, the Brothers are in the car, with Jack in the backseat still snarking. Because of course someone would do that after being beaten half to death.

Back at the warehouse, Anael wants to leave and grumps at Castiel. She calls Castiel out on his “real reason” for seeking out Chuck – that Jack’s soul is gone for good and Castiel can’t do anything about it.

Just as she’s getting ready to leave, though, Castiel finds a pendant that looks like Dean’s amulet. He tries it and prays to Chuck, but nothing happens. Anael snarks about being “always right” afterward, but is otherwise sympathetic.

Castiel admits that he’s going to have to go back and tell the Brothers. But he tells Anael she’s not always right. Just because Chuck isn’t around, that doesn’t mean they’re alone. Anael snarks some more, but looks a bit thoughtful.

The Brothers arrive above a warehouse where Donatello supposedly is (boy, it was snowy in Vancouver when they filmed this). Dean goes in alone, telling Sam to shoot Nick if anything happens to him. Once Dean is gone, Nick starts trying to worm his way into Sam’s head. It’s just as tedious and boring as it sounds. He so needs to go. He starts singing when Sam’s phone goes off and used the distraction to drive Sam out of the car so that he can work on his cuffs with a safety pin, or something. I so don’t care.

Meanwhile, back at the Bunker, Jack realizes that syringe Nick used has residual grace in it, not thallium. You know, yet another plot convenient power for Jack. That’s the call Sam gets.

Sam pulls a gun on Nick and orders him out of the car. He demands to know why Nick injected Lucifer with grace. Nick did it to have a conversation with Lucifer (because something-something-prophet stuff), who had woken up in the Empty. Lucifer told Nick how to get him back. Nick claims that demons helped him and gave him shelter after he killed the cop (do they mean the one in the hospital or the one who was possessed into killing Nick’s family? This is not made clear), that they want Lucifer back as badly as he does. Again, there’s some real plot amnesia going here, since Lucifer did absolutely nothing for the demons while he was ruling Hell.

Sam and Nick get into a fight, while inside the warehouse, Dean finds Donatello and gets attacked by demons. Dean takes care of them with relative ease (while Donatello works himself out of his rope bonds), but Sam has a much harder time finding Nick. Sam eventually gets the drop on Nick and starts to choke him, but then stops for some inexplicable reason. Nick then, somehow, despite being nearly choked out, manages to grab a rock, smack Sam over the head with it, drag him around and beat him up a bit, and brag about how Sam was once Lucifer’s “perfect vessel,” but not so much now.

Yeah, there’s a lot of stupid in this episode.

Sam escapes Nick by locking himself in the car and blowing the horn. Dean hears it and runs out of the warehouse, calling for Donatello to follow him, up to where Sam is … um … dying. From a head injury. Sure. That would be like when Dean was comatose a few episode ago from a head injury, right? And I bet it will last about as long.

Dean calls the Bunker, while Nick runs away and flags down a car. He yanks the driver out and then roars off to an abandoned cabin (in shirtsleeves, in the snow. Yes, I know).

Dean is freaking out because Sam is fading and the ambulance isn’t there, yet. Mary and Jack want to help, but as Nick burns his shirt with Jack’s blood on it and makes a spell to summon Lucifer, Jack cries out in pain that his blood is “burning.” Oh, look, a convenient plot weakness. [eyeroll]

Mary claims that this whole Nick plot was All About Jack. This isn’t really true. It was really All About Lucifer. Jack was just a convenient way to get Lucifer back.

Anyhoo, Nick is all ecstatic as Lucifer starts to come out of the Empty to possess him, but Lucifer takes a bit too long savoring it. Jack and Mary show up, and Jack sends Lucifer back to the Empty. Jack then burns Nick to death from the inside, while Mary yells at him to stop. Yeah, I’m totally over Nick, but that was pretty harsh. A quick bullet would have been better.

Dean is trying to keep Sam awake, while Donatello stands by, wringing his hands. But Sam dies, saying “All your life, you always put me first.”

At the cabin, Jack is confused by Mary’s horror, but she masks it and sends him to the Brothers, where Jack heals Sam. Jack insists that “it’s over” and Nick will never be a problem again. Sam looks surprised, Dean conflicted.

Jack flies back to Mary and tells her Sam is all healed. Jack insists that Nick was “a bad person” who “deserved” to die like that. Jack creepily asks her to absolve him by saying it’s okay. She tells him she can’t, because it’s not. She says that it’s not his fault, but the Jack she knew wouldn’t have done that (can’t say I agree. Jack from season 13 was totally in love with his powers and making people he deemed “bad” pay).

Even more creepily, Jack asks her if she’s going to tell the Brothers and she hedges. Around this point, Jack starts to get a massive headache, accompanied by angel voice, and starts to run away from her. For some unfathomable reason, Mary gets written plot-stupid and goes after him, badgering him about what’s wrong (even though she was scared of him, like, 30 seconds earlier).

Jack shouts at her to leave him alone and then “Go away!” Mary seems to disappear (sent off somewhere? Sent to the cornfield? We don’t know) and as the screen goes black, we hear Jack say in a small voice, “Mary?”

Credits

Ratings for the episode were a dismal 0.3/2 and 1.25 million, which may actually be a new low for the show (in audience, anyway), but is still pretty good for the CW this spring.

The promo, sneak peek, etc. for the next episode (which is tomorrow night) are here.

Review

[sigh] With this wildly inconsistent episode, I need to keep reminding myself every season, at this point in the season, that this point in the season almost invariably sucks out loud. And boy does it ever this season. Doesn’t help that the episode count is shorter this year and they don’t seem to have done much to compensate for that.

This show always has big cliffhangers and then some great and hopeful beginnings of seasons after the cliffhanger resolution (well, okay, season three didn’t start out so well, or season six, but that may have been because there was no real cliffhanger for seasons two and five). Then it usually has a compelling midseason finale and resolution, and then we get a long, slow, boring slog back up to the season finale cliffhanger. And boy, has it been a slog this season.

The thing is that the alt-Michael storyline, for all its many faults, was very compelling – probably the most compelling storyline (let alone mytharc) they’ve had in years. And Jensen Ackles acted the hell out of it, too. Michael was powerful, wily and terrifying. Not only did he have cosmic-level abilities, but he was also old and wise and quite insane. He was arguably the most frightening villain the show ever had (Amara was older and more powerful, for example, but she wasn’t as wise and, in the end, didn’t turn out to be insane). Too bad the show seemed to have no clue what to do with him.

Now, when I say insane, I don’t mean necessarily that Michael became unstable when he turned against humanity. Chuck’s attempts to get the angels to share human morality and love for humans was always imperfect at best and tyrannical at worst. Angels are not humans. For all their age and wisdom, they just don’t get, for the most part, why Chuck loved humans so much (Castiel and Anael being exceptions that prove the rule). To them, it just looks like blatant favoritism and Daddy tossing them aside for the bright and shiny new baby (kind of like how annoying much of fandom finds the writers’ incessant fascination with new guest and recurring characters over Sam and Dean’s story). And who knows? Maybe they’re right. The story is from the viewpoint of two human characters, after all.

So, what I mean is not that Michael is insane because he’s angry with humanity. The atrocities he committed in the alt-SPNverse are pretty much par for the course with this show’s angels. It’s that he lost hope after Chuck still didn’t show up at the end of the alt-SPNverse’s apocalypse, after alt-Michael killed alt-Lucifer, as he believed Chuck wanted him to do. Only then did he become fatally obsessed with killing Chuck, with cosmic parricide. It’s interesting to note that regardless of whether Michael won or lost his apocalypse, he still ended up nuttier than a 14-billion-year-old fruitcake.

It does occur to me that with this Castiel-searching-for-God-again storyline, were Chuck to return, that would be precisely what alt-Michael stated he wanted the most out of anything just seven episodes ago in “Nihilism,” and that he was willing to burn down the entire SPNverse to get to Daddy and kill him.

We also know that Michael has pulled an apparent defeat and disappearing act once already, before revealing it as a devastating trick in “The Spear.” And there’s also the fact that Nick is a rank amateur when it comes to using grace. Michael fed grace to his monsters in order to see through their eyes and use them as his puppets. And what did Jack just do three episodes ago? Eat a whole lot of Michael’s grace. Which just happened to miraculously restart Jack’s powers when Gabriel’s grace not only didn’t work, but made Jack sicker. Jack’s hearing angel voice right before he does whatever he does to Mary could be Michael taking over. And, of course, there’s the bit a few episodes ago with the snake – Michael’s idea of ‘mercy’ has always been death.

There is also Nick’s odd (and aborted) conversation with Dean about “missing” Michael (which Nick does not repeat with Sam, despite his rant about Sam originally being Lucifer’s intended “perfect vessel.” There’s a lot about that in this episode). Dean’s reaction is pretty deadpan, but then later in the episode, during his fight with two demons (and it’s a good fight), he is able to push away a demon’s superstrength at a critical moment in the fight. We also see him eerily calm the entire time, taking the two of them apart with relative ease.

We know that Dean is stronger than he used to be, and certainly better able to use martial arts moves against creatures that have more physical strength, but that seemed a bit more than usual. The look on Dean’s face after Jack heals Sam and says that he’s taken care of Nick, is more ambiguous, darker, than simple gratitude. One could even argue that the mind games Nick plays with TFW 2.0 are reflected in the episode title, “Game Night.”

Alas, this possible subtext is overshadowed by the thunderingly loud and overt text of Jack’s Shiny Superpowers plot bodily shoving aside the Dean!Michael plot. At one point, we actually have Mary declare that the entire Nick plot is All About Jack (it’s really not; it’s actually All About Lucifer; Jack is just a pawn). So, even if this is all leading up to Michael returning and using Jack as his puppet (and the coda to this episode does strongly hint at that), the sidetrack into Jack Done Gone Wrong won’t be any less tedious and frustrating. Besides, what we get in this episode is a repeat of late last season, with Lucifer using Jack as a pawn to get out of whatever mess he got himself into this time (because apparently, what’s dead really doesn’t stay dead, anymore, and Nick even lampshades that this week).

Jack, as I’ve said before, isn’t exactly bright enough to notice this. He gets mighty arrogant about his powers, especially when fed the abundant amount of praise and fear the story supplies. He doesn’t work so hot as a central character because of it.

Worse, yet, that’s not the only example of recycled drama in “Game Night.” We have Sam dying while Dean is upset (Sam died three episodes before the end last season, then was brought back by Nickifer). We have Sam getting a major head injury that is suddenly scary and horrifying after a decade and a half of the two brothers getting their skulls rung like bells. Just three episode ago, Dean was in exactly the same situation, until Michael somehow snuck out of his head (and healed him, I guess) without exploding him (or did he?).

It doesn’t help that Samantha Smith and Alexander Calvert are saddled with such poor writing that it makes them look like worse actors than they are. Or that Mark Pellegrino (normally a very good actor) has basically been phoning it in for well over a season. His version of Nick this season is almost indistinguishable from his version of Lucifer last season. I’m very disappointed because, as I said at the beginning of the season, I always wanted a storyline of Nick returning and figuring himself out post-Lucifer. Unfortunately, the show took the cheapest and least satisfying route by giving him archangelic Stockholm Syndrome, and turning him EVOL.

There’s also an awful lot of plot stupid throughout, enough for everyone to get a turn at the Idiot Ball. Nick manages to get on everyone’s last nerve (and by “everyone,” I mean the audience) as characters get more and more irritated with him in-verse, but don’t do the sensible thing and kill him. Mary is written like an emotional Gumby and is ridiculously solicitous of Nick’s continued existence, considering he kidnapped her the last time she saw him. She tells Sam it’s not his fault that he let Nick go to kill “that cop” (it’s not made at all clear, but I guess they mean the cop who killed Nick’s family while possessed, not the one Nick knocked out in the hospital). Well, yeah, actually, it is Sam’s fault and he should feel guilty, especially considering how Nick has spelled out that he killed a lot more than just the cop. But this show always has problems letting Sam feel the consequences of his actions for longer than five minutes.

But then she turns around and is utterly horrified at Jack killing Nick and then badgers him about it. Now, I get why the way Jack kills Nick is Very Bad. Lilith and the Stynes thoroughly deserved their fates, but Sam and Dean killing them was still an ugly, frightening moment. Jack using and enjoying his powers while torturing Nick to death may be no more than Nick deserves, but it doesn’t bode too well for Jack’s moral development, if we’re to go by the show’s track record.

Even worse is whatever Jack did to Mary. If Jack really did think Mary into the cornfield, he’d better watch his back. That is a point of no return and Dean would crawl back from the Empty through clouds of broken glass to kill him. It would be completely out of character for Dean to forgive him Jack murdering his mother, however much Sam might waffle over it.

About the only two things that might make Jack still salvageable as a member of TFW 2.0 is if he only sent Mary somewhere and didn’t kill her (entirely possible, if spoilers are any indication) or if it turned out it wasn’t Jack, but Michael using Jack’s body to kill Mary. Even then, either would be a dicey situation and I don’t know that Jack would ever get Dean’s respect back.

On the other hand, having Mary get in his face like that was writing her like a complete moron. Also, she’s a core show character, no matter how much some fans may hate her, and it’s highly questionable to fridge her twice. What happened to that commitment to diversity and feminism, CW? Come on!

Don’t even get me started on how Jack still has emotions, despite apparently having no soul, or how they’ve completely wasted both Mary and Anael as characters by reducing them to cheerleaders and consciences for the guys. Yeesh. And a woman wrote this episode, too.

Some have questioned whether Nick is really dead, since Pellegrino is in next week’s promo. I’ve got one word for that – Fauxifer. Characters can be complete doornails on this show and still come back as hallucinations (Azazel in the season six premiere, anyone?). But I do have to ask – is anyone going to find about Nick’s poor ghost wife and help her move on, already? I think it’s time.


The Kripke Years

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

The Gamble Years

Season 6 (with Kripke)

Season 7

The Carver Years

Season 8

Season 9

Season 10

Season 11

The Dabb Years

Season 12

Season 13

Season 14


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Retro Recap and Review: Supernatural 9.08: Rock and a Hard Place


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[spoilers ahoy for several seasons]


Tagline: Sam and Dean get a case where members of an abstinence group go missing.


Recap: Recap of some weird stuff, like the time the Brothers encountered a group of humanoid “dragons” who were kidnapping young virgins as hosts for Eve (remember her?) in season six. We also get a recap of Sam’s angel-healing and the angel fall mytharc, Crowley’s blood junkie plot, and Jody Mills’ entire storyline up to that point (save for her involvement with Bobby).

Cut to Now in Hartford, SD. A young woman is coming out of a diner. It’s night. She leaves some food for a sleeping drunk, but as she starts walking home, she’s stalked by something unseen. No matter how she tries, she can’t shake it. She tries hiding under a car after she drops her keys (with a mini-TASER), but the thing chasing her is large and strong enough to pick up the car. It blazes out blue fire that encompasses her. Afterward, we see it drop her through a manhole in a cellar.

Cue title cards.

Dean comes into the Bunker kitchen to find Sam asleep at the table. Dean, as he eats breakfast, brings Sam up to speed on Kevin (who is translating offscreen) and Crowley (whose human blood addiction makes him vulnerable to the Brothers’ own mind games). This is right after Crowley told them that Metatron’s spell for expelling the angels from Heaven was irreversible and they’re still trying to confirm it.

At this point in time, it’s not entirely clear if Dean is aware of Crowley’s growing obsession with him, but already, Dean is coldbloodedly manipulating him through it. Dean gleefully talks about how they can use Crowley’s addiction against him. Considering the episode recap showed at least one of Crowley’s many, many victims (he nearly killed Jody just to get at the Brothers), it’s hard to feel sorry for him.

Sam is … uh … sleepy and can’t understand why he’s so tired all the time. Dean knows (Ezekiel healing Sam from his Trialberculosis from last season), but he, of course, ain’t talking.

In light of how ugly this gets down the road, I want to point out that Sam will be somewhat disingenuous later on in how he was fooled and lied to. I get some distinct subtext in this scene that Sam could very well see something is up and push the issue, but chooses not to explore it because he is okay with the way things are. I also have to say that as much as Sam tries at certain points in the show to be solicitous of Dean’s needs, he can’t nurture Dean the way Dean nurtures him. And nobody else can, either.

At this point, Dean gets a call from Jody Mills (damn, I’d forgotten she was in this one) because this is an MOTW, not a mytharc episode, and we’ve just worked our way through bringing the mytharc up to speed for the week. Say goodbye to the mytharc for now.

This being season nine, there’s still a bit of formality between Jody and the Brothers. She calls him by his first name, but introduces herself by her full name. He calls her “Sheriff Mills,” but Sam calls her “Jody” when Dean puts her on speakerphone.

Jody tells them about Doomed Teaser Girl and says a guy (probably the homeless guy the girl left dinner for) witnessed someone picking up an SUV to capture DTG. DTG is only one of four recent kidnappings. Behind Jody, as she mentions that usually the worst crime this little town somewhat outside Sioux Falls ever gets is cow-tipping, a tow truck guy tips the SUV back upright on all four wheels. Ha. I see what you did there, Show.

The Brothers agree that it’s strange and come on out. There’s a road trip montage to generic soundtrack rock in broad daylight. The Brothers arrive in FBI suits. Dean gives Jody a hug and mentions her bad date with Crowley. She laughs it off, but Dean then shows some concern that maybe she should wait a bit before getting back into Hunting. She demurs, saying more knowledge is better protection.

Then she gets down to business. The first person to disappear was a pastor. Another two were an engaged couple who were abducted from a locked house. DTG, a waitress, is the fourth. They were all members of Good Faith Church, a local congregation. Jody mentions in passing that her own church (which she joined after Crowley tried to kill her on their date last season) was horrified about it. No one wants to be next, I guess.

Sam speculates out loud to Dean that it could be angels, which surprises Jody. Turns out she wasn’t aware they’d fallen? Really? Didn’t the Brothers put out an APB about that a while back?

Inside the diner, Jody introduces them to the homeless guy from the teaser. He tells them DTG’s name was Honor. He’s shy and deferential. He tells them about the shadowy figure that lifted the SUV and the blue fire. Then, he says, Honor disappeared.

Dean gives him some money and thanks him, then they MOTW-speculate after he leaves. Not an angel, after all. Dean figures they should go undercover by joining the church.

Cut to the Brothers being interviewed by the person in charge, Bonnie. She’s all perky. When Sam expresses some mutual reservations he and Dean have about joining, regarding the disappearances, she reassures them that security has been beefed up, so not to worry.

Dean asks her if she was close to the people who disappeared. She says yes. They were all part of the same chastity group, APU (Abstinence Purifies Us). When Sam asks if they can sit in on it, she says it’s church members only. Dean is horrified when Sam volunteers them for it and the church.

As Bonnie goes to get the paperwork, the Brothers quietly speculate whether virginal members are being kidnapped by dragons (per season six). When she comes back with a Purity Pledge, though, they’re a bit flummoxed. Dean points out that you can only be a virgin once (coughthat’snotwhatyousaidbackinseasonfour’s”MonsterMovie”Deancoughcough). After an uncomfortable pause, she says that you can still pray to God and renew your vows of chastity to become a “born again” virgin until marriage. Well, alrighty-then. The Brothers sign. She then pronounces them “both virgins.”

Down in the tunnel, Honor is using her Taser to light her way around. It turns out she’s in an old nuclear fallout shelter. She hears noises and whips around with the Taser, begging them to stay away from her.

At the group, the Brothers are the only men there. The group has a mix of women, ranging from gorgeous and dressed up to plain and dressed like nuns on holiday. The leader is a beautiful blonde whom Dean can’t seem to stop staring at. Bonnie is also there.

A girl named Tammy stands up to overshare her poem about abstinence, but the leader gently steers her away from it. She suggests that they instead hear from the new members  – Sam and Dean.

Asked first, Sam says he’s looking for a fresh start, since none of his relationships ever turn out well. “He ain’t lyin’!” Dean agrees, with a snort. We know, of course, that Sam means his girlfriends always end up dead, evil, or both.

When asked about “what set you on the path away from sin?” Dean goes into a roundabout explanation of how he just loved sex, especially all the foreplay to orgasm, but he’s all done with that now because it was “too sticky.” In the process, he (inadvertently?) brings all the women in the room to orgasm without even touching them, much to Sam’s disgust. Barbara also shakes her head in disgust.

Afterward, Barbara tells Sam that she’s worried about Honor, who was her “favorite.” As soon as Barbara goes to chastise an overweight member for stealing cookies from the refreshments table, an indignant Tammy insists that Honor is not what Barbara thinks she is. But as Sam eagerly follows this lead, it soon becomes clear that Tammy’s standards for sin are rather low, namely that Honor didn’t bake her own cookies for the bake sale and is therefore going to Hell.

Meanwhile, Dean, who has told Sam he thinks Suzy (the lead counselor) looks familiar, talks to her. She insists they’ve never met, but offers to get him some books on how to stay true to one’s chastity vows from her house. Dean points out (correctly, albeit with ulterior motives) that it’s not safe to be out alone right now for the members, what with some of them disappearing. So, he chaperones her on home. Let’s just say that Suzy doesn’t protest much.

Back at the motel, Sam tells Jody one bit of info he did get from Tammy – Honor and the missing pastor slept together. Jody has some info, too. The betrothed couple got it on, as well, albeit together. Later, the girl was crying about it, while the boy assured her that it didn’t count because it only lasted 30 seconds.

Jody also says the witness (the woman’s mom) later heard a crash and saw a flash of blue light. Sam figures that at least dragons are now out of the picture. Jody is surprised that dragons even “are a thing.”

Later, Jody admits that she started going to church because she felt lost after the past few years, what with losing Bobby, and her husband and son. You could say Crowley was just the last straw.

Sam allows that people need to look for comfort. Jody points out that he and Dean have each other and Sam looks uncomfortable. This is not a point in the show when Sam is willing to admit any real emotional connection to Dean, let alone dependence.

At Suzy’s house, Dean is in full-on seduction mode, not helped when she takes off her jacket, revealing a skimpy wifebeater/camisole underneath. He is, though, nonplussed when she starts to cry out of worry for her friend and asks for him to pray with her (which he does as best he can), and when she piles a bunch of books about chastity into his arms. But it’s when he’s in the middle of finally answering a call from Sam (he’s been dodging them) that Dean spots some old porn tapes in a top drawer that feature Suzy and he realizes how he knows her.

When she comes back out of her office, Dean tries to hide his discovery and doesn’t seem to know what to do with his face. Lines (in Spanish) from her film keep slipping out of his mouth. At first, he seems a bit smarmy, but when Suzy drops the Holy Counselor act and looks ashamed, he reassures her that no one knows who she is in Hartford and she has nothing to be ashamed of. She says the girl she was back then was “horrible.” Dean insists (with absolute sincerity; I mean, look at his life) that he’s seen many horrible things and her films (and body) weren’t one of them. To him, she was one of the “good dreams.”

Suzy is pretty turned on. Validation is a powerful thing and we know that as wolfy as Dean can be, he’s not just feeding her a line. He genuinely appreciates her work and doesn’t see her as a slut for it. She comes on to him and Dean sure doesn’t say no, in Spanish or any other language. They get it on to a mariachi band on the soundtrack. Sadly, it cuts off right after Suzy jumps Dean’s bones.

Down in the monster’s lair, Honor finally locates a lamp and lights it. She finds the pastor she’d slept with and the two fiances. The latter are pretty cranky, saying they’ve been starving to death. Also, the boy, Neil, is a selfish dick. They’re interrupted in their squabbling by the hatch opening and blue fire. Once it’s gone, the hatch has closed and the pastor has disappeared. They hear a scream overhead. He’s being eaten.

At the motel, Sam (correctly) realizes that people are being taken because they are violating their vows of chastity – and that if Dean has been gone an hour, it’s because he’s making time with Suzy. Sure enough, at the apartment, as Dean and Suzy are rather regretfully leaving (Susie admits she really missed sex), they are attacked by blue fire and knocked out. Sam and Jody don’t get there in time to rescue them, but Sam does find Suzy’s porno video and realizes they’ve been kidnapped.

In the cellar, Honor gets some more lamps lit, but the girl fiancee is so thirsty that she scratches the brick walls until her nails are raw and bloody, then licks her fingers (this scene is pretty nasty). They hear the hatch open up again, then find Suzy and Dean. Susie wakes up, then shakes Dean awake. Dean climbs up into the hatch and questions everyone while trying to get it open. Neil is singularly doom and gloom. Dean looks exasperated.

The MOTW took Dean’s phone, but he has another one and is able to make a brief call to Sam. Suzy suggests to Dean, ashamed again, that maybe they’re getting what they deserve from God. Dean reassures her that whoever or whatever is doing this, it’s not God.

Neil tries to suggest that they give up Honor (who has a sprained ankle) next time the monster comes to buy them time. Dean slams him against a wall and suggests they give up Neil instead. This shuts Neil up and wins an impressed smile from Honor. Later, Honor and Susie share a rueful moment over being only human, and Honor helps Dean with his attempts to open the hatch by supplying some scissors as a makeshift screwdriver.

Back at the motel, Jody finds their MOTW: Vesta, Roman goddess of the hearth. She was always wreathed in blue fire and she killed those who broke their vows of chastity. The historical Vestal Virgins (who were buried alive if they broke their vows) get mentioned. Oak stained with virgin’s blood will kill her.

Jody and Sam visit Tammy, who goes on a big rant about “devil worship” while refusing to help. Impatient, Jody punches her in the face, giving her a bloody nose, and then gets the blood with a handkerchief. When Tammy threatens to “call the cops,” Jody retorts, “I am the cops, lady!”

After Dean’s call, Sam tells Jody he heard a train whistle on Dean’s end. They locate an abandoned farm outside Hartford. Inside the barn, they look around, very quietly. Not quietly enough, though. Right after he finds the hatch to the fallout shelter and calls down to Dean, Sam gets caught by the MOTW and tossed across the barn. He’s knocked out.  Jody gets caught by the MOTW, but not knocked out. Vesta turns out to be Barbara.

Jody smart-mouths Vesta/Barbara and gets punched a lot, then strapped down to Vesta’s makeshift altar. Seems Vesta has come down in the world since “that hippy from Bethlehem” spoiled her game. She likes livers and normally “weaker” ones than Jody’s. When Jody tries to stab her with the oak weapon, Vesta takes it away from her. But just as she’s about to stab Jody, Sam wakes up and attacks her from behind. Jody still gets stabbed in the shoulder, but not fatally.

Vesta attacks Sam, but realizes that his liver is “no good.” She wonders out loud how he is even still alive (this sure is news to Sam). Her distraction proves fatal when Jody stabs her from behind.

Meanwhile, Dean has been breaking his way out of the cellar and manages this just as Sam and Jody finish with the MOTW.

Later, back at the motel, Jody is in a sling (they sure beat her up a lot). Hugs all round and then she leaves. Afterward, Sam wants to know what Vesta meant about there being “something wrong with me.” Sam worries that he will never be “all right,” despite Dean’s attempts to reassure him.

Dean finally starts to cave and confess to Sam, but Ezekiel comes out and warns Dean not to tell Sam and risk Sam rejecting the angel. Though Ezekiel casts it as a friendly warning, it comes off as sinister. Dean is forced to lie to Sam when he comes back and tell him vaguely that everything will be fine, somehow. Sam doesn’t really believe him and leaves, looking suspicious. Alone in the room, Dean looks conflicted.

Credits

Review: This one caused a brief kerfuffle when it first came out. There was a rather large “debate” about the seduction scene between Dean and Suzy, and whether or not Dean “sorta raped” Suzy by “ignoring” her boundaries. Other than that, I don’t recall it being terribly memorable.

Rewatching it, I found it a mildly intriguing MOTW with some icky subtext, paper-thin characters, and rushed pacing – all par for the course with a Jenny Klein script. This is the same writer who gave us Meg’s clitorectomy scene in “Caged Heat” back in season six. She’ll give us “#Thinman” later in season nine, then three more in seasons ten and eleven before mercifully going on to other shows. It’s unfortunate, because the episode does have several female guest stars. It just doesn’t do very much with them.

Regarding the infamous seduction scene, I agree with those who say it’s set up more like a parody of a porno (specifically, the show’s Casa Erotica porn series) than anything realistic. We even get bad Spanish, terrible Mexican stereotypes, and mariachi music on the soundtrack. But that’s where I get off the noncon bus (though I sure wondered about Neil and his girlfriend; didn’t sound as though her first time was much fun).

What little we get in the writing (especially the scene between Suzy and Honor) indicates that Suzy is actually pretty conflicted about her new life and new pledge. Granted, the episode itself is so busy sending up the Abstinence Movement, with its mean-spirited message and attendant stereotypes, that Klein does little to fill out the female characters and their motivations. But Suzy does have some. And they appear to be that she actually still quite likes sex. She just doesn’t like being shamed over it. So, when Dean finds out her past and reassures her that she’s an “artist” not a slut, she’s quite happy to jump his bones and has no real regrets immediately afterward.

If anything, I’m a bit bothered by how having so much of her story be from Dean’s POV (male gaze) obscures what a lousy abstinence counselor she is. By no means do I think that anyone deserves to be sexually assaulted for what they wear or how they act (nor do I think Dean would have done so, anyway). But from Suzy’s POV, she’s basically doing the sex equivalent of waving a bottle of liquor under a newly dry alcoholic’s nose. Taking off clothes, walking around in a skimpy camisole, leaving her porn tapes out in the open? How’s she supposed to think that Dean, who’s just confessed to still being really attached to sex, isn’t going to go out and have a one-night stand or at least masturbate after all that?

Even though we know that Dean is just going undercover, and has no intention of honoring his “pledge,” Suzy doesn’t know that. And having her act like that on top of Dean’s speech at the group meeting (in which he unconsciously makes it pretty clear he’s a great lay) is suspicious, to say the least. If she’s not seducing him, then having (very brief) second thoughts when he finds the DVDs, just what in the hell is she doing?

I’m guessing that once the Brothers gave the surviving group The Talk about monsters, Suzy instituted a certain loosening of restrictions in the Church. Most of the reason they were following them was fear of God’s wrath and shame about sex.

But that’s a big part of the problem with this episode. We get more resolution about Jody’s new war wound (boy, this show loves to beat her up) than we do about the group of civilians she and the Brothers just rescued. I would also have liked to have found out more about Honor. She was quite scrappy, despite her sprained ankle, and left behind a sympathetic witness due to her generosity. That may have saved her life. But nope. The show couldn’t be bothered to wrap any of that up.

Jody’s in a weird spot in this episode. It’s still fairly early on in her relationship with the Brothers. They’re friends now, but at the same time, still a bit formal with each other. There’s probably more they could have done with her relationship with Sam in this one, besides her having turned out a bit religious after her near-death experience thanks to Crowley. Alas, Sam falls down the angel possession mytharc hole in this one and it’s never even properly explained why he feels so exhausted.

One odd note – aside from the Chinese god in season five’s “Hammer of the Gods,” whom Dean kills, all of the pagan gods have been killed by Sam or a guest/recurring character. This week, Jody got the kill.

Finally, the MOTW had potential, but she didn’t fit well into the American Gods-inspired straitjacket the show has for pagan gods. Lindy Booth (of Warehouse 13 and The Librarians fame) does her best to give Vesta some bite, but mostly, the goddess is a dud. The research on her actual mythological background is okay as far as it goes, but the show fails to do anything creative with it and the discovery of what kills her is tacked on at the very end of a rushed expositional scene.

Especially confusing was what kind of humans Vesta actually preferred to eat. She talks about eating virgins back in the day, but Vestal Virgins only got buried alive if they broke their vows and the people she targets in the episode also broke vows of purity. Yet, she’s focused on virgins. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Fun Lines:

Bonnie [when Sam signs him and Dean up to join her church]: Well, I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt!

The Group: Stay strong. Stay pure.

Suzy: And you, Dean? What set you on the path away from sin?

Dean: Uh, hard to say, exactly. Yeah. Sex has always felt – I don’t know – good, you know? I mean, really, really good. Uh, but, uh … sometimes, it just makes you feel bad, you know? You’re drunk. You shack up. Then, it’s the whole morning thing. You know, “Hey, that was fun.” And then, “Adios,” you know? Always the “Adios.” But, you know, when you get down to it, what’s the big deal, right? I mean, sure, there’s the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling … grinding. Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just … [splooge noise from Dean. Sam gives him a dirty look]. Yeah. Uh … but the whole thing was just a little too, uh … sticky. So, uh, I got my “V” card back! The end.

Suzy: What am I supposed to say, “Oh, hey! I used to be a porn star! Let’s pray”?


The Kripke Years

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

The Gamble Years

Season 6 (with Kripke)

Season 7

The Carver Years

Season 8

Season 9

Season 10

Season 11

The Dabb Years

Season 12

Season 13

Season 14


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