The Official “War of the Worlds” (13.07) Live Recap Thread


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I’ll also be simul-recapping on Wayward Children.

So, let’s get started. Keeping my expectations low, since it’s the Nepotism Duo, we’ve got Colonel Sanders again, and the episode got a series low of 0.3/1 and 1.21 million. And yeah, Arrow did even worse, and it was Thanksgiving, and they were also up against football, but still. It’s not as though fandom is identifying this as a lost masterpiece, either.

Recap of Lucifer getting owned by Mary and alt-Michael, Asmodeus’ extremely tedious search for Jack, and Jack’s stupid decision at the end of last week.

Cut to Lucifer in prison, whinging a lot more (this time to alt-Michael) about Chuck. Turns out alt-Michael can interrogate Lucifer and also torture him. Which he does. Whatever. This show sure loves its torture scenes.

Cue title cards.

Cue the sneak peek, where Dean asks Sam about his search for Jack and Sam infodumps that Jack has vanished. Castiel comes in and says he must go find him and he’s got a contact to see if Jack has been captured by anyone naughty. When Dean offers to come along, Castiel basically admits his contact is an angel, so that’s a no-go. Dean then tells Castiel not to do anything stupid, which pretty much guarantees Castiel will end up doing something spectacularly stupid. It’s almost as if I’ve been watching this show for over a decade now.

In the midst of this, Dean decides to check out a case of witches being ritually murdered. Because reasons.

Cut to Asmodeus. All I can say is I hope this scene will be very short.

Anyhoo, Colonel Sanders is calling psychically to Jack, with no success. A demon interrupts him to say they can’t find Jack, either, and they have a “Hunter on the payroll” (really? Only one? The Nep Duo sure forget canon awful fast), who says the Brothers don’t have him, either. CS whines a bit about how Jack can hide when he has so much power (it’s because he’s a walking plot device, dummy). Lots of whining in this episode.

Cut to the alt-world, where alt-Michael is apparently dissatisfied with the barren rock he’s turned Earth into, even though that was the whole plan in the first place. Welp, color me confused on that one.

So, he interrogates Lucifer a bit about our “nicer” planet, which he wants to visit and rule (and, presumably, ruin, too) and then he calls in alt-Kevin (yes, Kevin’s alive in this reality). Kevin has found a spell in the Angel Tablets (there was only one Angel Tablet, you morons) to cross over to other realities, but it requires archangel grace. So, of course Michael takes some of Lucifer’s. Because that’s  a thing now.

Not at all impressed by alt-Michael so far and this entire alternate realities storyline continues to be a hot, hot mess.

Back to the Brothers (finally), who are on the dead witch case. Dean has already figured it’s not Hunters. Sam has found some CCTV footage near the time when the last witch was kidnapped and killed, and Dean spots someone on the monitor who looks familiar – it’s Ketch. With a beard.

CW, you need to just go away with these endless Riverdale ads. They actually make me want to watch that show even less.

While the Brothers argue (in broad daylight) over how Ketch can be alive and why he would be killing witches, they’re approached by a woman named Daniela, who is a witch and (obviously) knows who they are. Sam is actually handed the Idiot Ball long enough to ask how she knows. Sam, come on, really?

Anyhoo, she figures they may not like witches, but they do help people and boy, does she need help.

Back in Stupid Alt-World, Kevin is cooking up the crossover spell, while Lucifer and his guards look on. Lucifer actually tries to talk Kevin out of it by saying it’s evil. Alt-Kevin, to his credit, calls Lucifer out on the hypocrisy of that, but then kinda spoils it by saying alt-Michael will take him to “Paradise World.”

So, anyhoo, the spell works fine, but it only works for one person (as alt-Kevin tells alt-Michael after Lucifer breaks free and escapes through it). Alt-Michael tells Kevin to fix it. Also, Mary is apparently still trapped there. Yay.

Lucifer lands back in our world, but he’s mistaken for a crazy homeless person because he now has no powers.

If you think that’s excruciatingly lame, wait until you check out the next scene where Colonel Sanders is interrogating a motel clerk who had the misfortune of checking in the Brothers and Jack one day recently, then senses something. He says it’s not Jack, so it must be Lucifer’s return through the portal.

Lord, this episode is really quite bad.

Cut to a creepy house in the middle of the woods, a “safe house” where Daniela has taken the Brothers. She shows them scars and says she was caught by the “serial killer” who has been hunting witches. Sam gets her to identify Ketch as the one. She says she managed to get free and disable him temporarily with a spell.

Sam asks her what Ketch wanted. She says he’s looking for Rowena. Dean notes that Rowena is dead. Daniela agrees and says that’s what everyone is telling Ketch, hence the trail of bodies.

Daniela is fearful and says she wants to hide until it’s all over. Instead, Dean suggests they use her as bait.

Later that night, she’s sitting at a table, playing Tarot cards, when she hears a noise and then a smoke bomb crashes through the grate and she passes out. A figure in a gas mask bursts in and shoots up the place, but as he turns around, he gets dart-gunned by Dean. The Brothers come in from outside. As Sam helps Daniela out the door, Dean pulls off the intruder’s mask. Yup. It’s Ketch.

I don’t really see the point of having killed off a bunch of characters last season, only to bring them back. And I sure didn’t miss Ketch.

As Dean interrogates him, Ketch claims not to be Ketch. He doesn’t have his old tattoo and he claims he’d never get one. I roll my eyes pretty hard. Please tell me, Show, that you’re not going to dumb down the Brothers so much that they buy this even a little.

At least somewhat to their credit, they laugh outright at Ketch’s claim that his name is Alexander and they’ve mistaken him for his psycho brother Arthur (how this is supposed to explain his attempt on Daniela’s life I really don’t know).

Anyhoo, Ketch claims he chickened out of the LoL “initiation” and ran off to become a Hunter-for-hire. He’s just killing witches because they’re bad and doesn’t really have a good reason for looking up Rowena except that she’s a witch.

It’s like these two writers don’t even try, anymore. If they ever did.

So, Sam finds a paper trail that looks pretty convincing, but then, the Brothers have pretty convincing paper trails, too. Dean is unconvinced. The writers get in a little dig at the Brothers being *really* stupid by having Sam say they dumped the body rather than burned it (which would make it very hard for him to resurrect). They would never just dump the body. They *always* salt and burn.

Anyhoo, Dean is not buying it at all. I’m so proud of you, Dean.

Ketch continues to work on Sam, who is the one who is buying this a tiny bit. Sam says some nasty things about “Arthur,” which provokes “Alexander” to defend “Arthur.” Uh-huh. Sure, Ketch.

Via his Alexander persona, Ketch claims to “regret” some of what he did to the Winchester family. He’s lucky he’s talking to Sam. Dean wouldn’t care.

Meanwhile, Castiel is meeting with his contact, Duma, who predictably betrays him to the other angels. Seems they have this daft plan to capture Jack and force him to make new angels, since none have been made “since the dawn of time.” Yeah, let’s totally forget that bit where Castiel is only about half a billion years old.

Anyhoo, there’s a fight and it’s broken up by Lucifer. Lucifer does red-glowy eyes and the angels flee before they see that Lucifer doesn’t have his full powers.

After exchanging Cliff’s Notes on why each is not dead/in another dimension, Lucifer forestalls Castiel stabbing him by explaining that WE ARE ALL IN DANGER. AND IT’S NOT ME THIS TIME.

Over beers in a bar (I’m not kidding; that’s the least-daft thing about this whole episode), Lucifer explains that alt-Michael is much more powerful than his brother in this reality. Which makes no sense, but whatever. Lucifer wants Castiel to help him find Jack so they can form their own version of TFW and kick alt-Michael’s ass when he comes through the portal (which, if course, he will, because why waste any time on introducing him, otherwise?). Personally, I remain quite salty about what this show has done to this reality’s Michael, but there you go.

Castiel, to his credit, is totally unimpressed and pretty hung up on the part where Lucifer killed him the last time they met. They trade a few insults and Lucifer tries to schmooze Castiel. He keeps banging away at how God is not there.

Castiel insists he has to talk to Sam and Dean. Lucifer says they’d just put him back in the Cage. Castiel points out that’s exactly what he wants, too. Lucifer finally clues in that Castiel doesn’t know where Jack is.

Back at the Bunker, Dean gets a call from a contact he made (the motel manager whose clerk Asmodeus just wasted). He puts two-and-two together, especially since Asmodeus was stupid enough to show up personally at the motel, and comes up with Asmodeus looking for Jack.

Meanwhile, Sam is letting Ketch wander around the Bunker in manacles. Because Sam really is written that dumb this week.

Ketch keeps up with the charade. Dean doesn’t buy it. Ketch unwisely asks about Mary, but Dean refuses to give him any info.

He gets a call from Castiel, but Castiel is caught by Lucifer, who walks off with Castiel’s phone. Dean realizes something odd is going on and heads off with Sam to meet up with Castiel. Dean is unhappy about the idea of leaving Ketch locked up in the Bunker.

At the bar, Lucifer is having a hissy-fit once Castiel brings him up to speed. All he cares about is whether or not Jack is powerful, and he assumes that Jack tortured the Winchesters.

Before Castiel can set him straight, Asmodeus and his crew show up. Bleah. I am so over this guy. He just needs to die. Also, I really, really hate his henchdemons.

Lucifer insults Colonel Sanders. Asmodeus instead decides to defy Lucifer and does so successfully. I roll my eyes really hard.

The Brothers enter the bar, only to find it empty and dark. The bartender has been smoked by Asmodeus, so he can’t help.

Fortunately, Asmodeus has left behind his henchdemons to take out the Winchesters, so there’s a fight (where, it must be said because there’s an important plot point here, Dean does better than Sam). One demon is about to take out Sam when Ketch shows up and kills her, while Dean takes out his last demon.

Sam is actually dumb enough to ask how Ketch got out. Dean isn’t as dumb as Sam, though, and pulls a gun on Ketch, having finally found the evidence he needs to confirm it’s really him.

Ketch admits that the whole “twin brother” thing is just his cover. He’s on the run from the LoL as a deserter and works on the downlow as a sort of enforcer in the magical world. Sam asks how he’s alive and he says Rowena was captured by the LoL once and he helped her escape in exchange for her giving him the same charm she used to resurrect. After Dean tells him Lucifer killed her (and Ketch acts skeptical), he admits that he has to recharge the “device” and tries to snow Dean a bit, which Dean doesn’t buy.

Ketch: Did it ever occur to you, Dean, that I might actually be one of the good guys?

Dean: No. Not even once.

When Ketch realizes Dean is going to kill him – again – he throws down a smoke bomb and flees, but not before Dean gets a shot at him and wounds him.

Later, Dean gets a call from “Castiel,” who claims everything is fine on his end, now. But of course it’s Asmodeus. Asmodeus then monologues to Ketch (who is working for him) that he’s keeping Lucifer and Castiel on tap for now, and that he needs “that nephilim” if he’s going to beat alt-Michael. Ketch replies, “You really needn’t worry.” Yeah, this show really didn’t need this character back and it sure as hell doesn’t need Asmodeus. What a way to reduce the impact of the original YED.

Credits.


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