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Recap of recent events and a mention of Walt and Roy.
Cut to Now, with Mary killing her way through a list of people to get to Jody.
In the Bunker, Dean suggests murdering the Twat to save air. I’m all for it, but she claims she’s the only one who can undo Mary’s deus ex machina conditioning. They then try searching through the lore (on Sam’s suggestion) and Sam finds a spell that requires virgin’s blood (they have to purify their blood, since no one is a virgin), but it doesn’t work because Ketch put a dampening spell on the Bunker.
On the second day, Dean suggests breaking out, but the walls are too strong. Sam is for giving up and mopes about having been stupid about the LoL. Little late, there, Sam. Sam says he “followed because it was easier than leading.”
Dean’s not for giving up. Annnnd, Genius Dean gets an idea.
He’s gonna use the grenade launcher. The Twat thinks it’s stupid. Well, sure, but desperate times….
Dean fires in the hole.
It’s still dark. Sam looks for Dean, but can’t breathe. And then, the lights turn on. And the air comes back. Dean enters the Bunker, wounded but alive.
So, Mary shows up at Jody’s. The Brothers go through the dead and then rush to Jody’s house. Jody and Alex have her tied up in a chair.
Dean gets all the booze he needs, while Mary digs in the knife. They bring in the Twat, who admits she lied. Mary’s gone. Dean is going to take her out into the cornfield (okay, Jody’s backyard) and the Twat thinks that
Walt and Roy come in and it’s totally anticlimactic. Damn, the writing has sucked this season.
Sam gives a Big Speech about fighting back. He’s going to be a leader now because apparently, these writers can’t even allow Dean that.
Sam wants Dean to come along, saying Dean is better than any ten Hunters. Dean pleads being wounded and that Sam is “ready.” But Sam senses Dean has an ulterior motive. Dean admits he’s going to try to save Mary. They hug.
Jody has a moving moment with Alex, whom she’s sending out of the fight. Jody is going with Sam.
At the LoL Quonset Hut, Henchbitchstress is marshaling the forces of about a handful of LoL to attack … all of America. I facepalm. Really hard.
Ketch asks a redshirt tech to locate and track Mary. He’s a little horrified to discover she’s back at the Bunker. For many reasons.
Dean doesn’t trust the Twat, but she claims all she wants is a “head-start” to go see her son again. I’m sure hoping this is meant to make her a good guy, so we’ll “feel bad” when Ketch or somebody kills her. Because I sure don’t want her to make it out of this episode alive.
Anyhoo, Dean goes into the dreamworld with his mother. Mary is tending to Baby!Sam (of course she is) and feeding Toddler!Dean. It’s a totally different house layout from the Pilot teaser, where Sam had his own room. Really, show? You were too lazy even to recreate that?
Dean tries to talk to Dream!Mary, but she ignores him.
Sam and the other Hunters storm the LoL – in broad daylight, ’cause that’s smart. They start cold-bloodedly taking out the LoL. You know, the human LoL.
I like the new blonde Hunter. I don’t expect her to make it, but I’ll hope, anyway.
Inside, Henchbitchstress in her matching two-piece and pearls, belatedly and over-confidently orders a counterattack. But the Hunters are already inside.
Dean realizes his mother is intentionally choosing to stay in her dreamworld. As she tells Dream!Dean she says she won’t let anything happen to him, Dean says the words fans have been waiting for all season: “I hate you.”
Dean pours out his anger and resentment about the deal she made. He talks about his abandonment and how he got parentified. How Mary’s promise never came true.
Do you think Jensen is selling this? Of course he is.
Annoyingly, Dean still kinda makes the pain All About Sam, but at least he talks about his own pain first. He repeats that he hates Mary. He says he also loves her. Obviously, he’s very confused. He says he can’t help but love her because she’s his mother. He admits he made deals, too (I think that hurts her the most), and that he forgives her. While crying. He insists they can start over, but she has to fight back (clearly, someone watched the season finale of The Exorcist). He says he needs her to “see me.”
Finally, she turns around and looks at him. She recognizes him.
Back in the Bunker, the Twat is trying to escape. Of course. But it’s too late. Dean is yanked of the dreamworld – by Ketch.
The Twat’s already dead. Dammit, I wanted to see that!
Chez LoL, Walt and Roy are getting killed and Sam is confronting Henchbitchstress. Who fleas into a locked
In the Bunker, Ketch is beating up Dean because Dean’s still got that bum leg.
But Dean’s got some moves left. After all, he survived Purgatory. He does some serious damage to Ketch.
Dean: “When you left us alone in the Bunker? Man, I knew you were psycho, but I didn’t think you were stupid.”
Ketch decides to cheat a little further and pulls a gun. But he gets shot first. By Mary. Dean goes to her, kicking Ketch’s gun out of the way.
Ketch [to Mary]: “I knew you were a killer. You both are.”
Dean: “You’re right.” Mary shoots Ketch.
Henchbitchstress tries to get someone from LoL Central to get her out, but they ignore her. The Hunters blast their way in and Henchbitchstress tries to talk her way out by telling Sam (she mistakes him for Dean, I kid you not) Lucifer got out and Crowley’s dead. LoL Central try to back her up. Sam shoots out the LoL commlink. Jody shoots Henchbitchstress. Yay, Jody.
Sam & Co. blow up the LoL Quonset Hut. Well, there’s a kind of satisfaction to blowing the shit out of a storyline that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I’ll give them that.
Dean finds some mega-pain pills (so he’ll be stoned for the rest of the finale). Mary feels really guilty and apologizes to Dean for being a cold, distant bitch. She says she couldn’t face what she’d done to her sons.
Dean tells her her deal didn’t make them “who we are.” They made themselves heroes who “save the world.”
Mary fears Sam will hate her, but Sam returns at that moment. Group hug. Credits.
So, that ends 12.22.
12.21 doesn’t start too well.
So, we get a recap to “Carry On, Wayward Son” of the season so far. It wasn’t very good.
Cut to Castiel and Kelly at a pretty mountain lake. Kelly is trying to build a Swedish crib and mourning that she will never see her child’s face.
Is anybody else mightily offended by this whole woman-as-walking-womb storyline?
Oh, and in case the misogyny wasn’t high enough, when TFW try to contact Rowena, they get Lucifer, who just incinerated her. Because apparently, she wasn’t worth an onscreen death.
To add insult to injury, Crowley’s “rat” resurrects his usual body in a parody of Dean’s resurrection in “Lazarus Rising.”
TFW bemoans about how the writing won’t let them kill Lucifer or send him back to Hell.
Some ball of light is stalking Castiel and Kelly. In case anybody cares. Castiel finds it as a line of light on the beach. When he touches it, he’s transported to a dark place, where a monster attacks him. Somebody shoots the monsters. Castiel recognizes the person and says, “You?”
Trying not to get excited but PLEASE LET IT BE MICHAEL.
More offensive crap with Kelly talking to the naphil, calling him Jack. Show, she’s got a vicious monsters inside her, not cancer.
Crowley shows up and gets punched by Dean. Dean’s going to kill him, and Mary’s on board, but Sam suggests they find out what Crowley knows, first.
Crowley tells them how he escaped inside a rat. They tell him Rowena’s dead. He admits he wanted to keep Lucifer as his personal nuke (because that worked so well with Demon!Dean).
Sam asks why he’s back in the Bunker. Crowley admits they always come out on top, so he’s throwing in with the winning team. Crowley offers to make it worth their while. He’ll seal the gates of Hell.
Back to Kelly wondering where Castiel is. He’s kinda busy, dummy.
Castiel doesn’t tell her where he was. She says her contractions are starting. Castiel goes on a long, boring thing about a doula course he took.
Meanwhile, TFW is heading out to find Lucifer and Dean leaves Crowley Spork-spiked to a table.
Castiel goes to look out the window at the glowing line of light. Kelly thanks him for helping her (pretty sure that’s because he’s brainwashed).
Outside, we get another look at the light.
Recurring The Originals promo for tomorrow night’s ep that reminds how much worse Supernatural could still be.
Kelly asks what vision Castiel had when he joined up with her and he confirms the show is completely ripping off the Jasmine storyline from Angel.
The lights flicker and he goes downstairs. TFW is there. They tell him Lucifer is out and they’re there to help, at least for now.
Dean groans about his knee. An exasperated Castiel heals him. Sam finds the line of light outside.
Castiel says it’s a “tear in space and time.” He calls it an “alternate reality.” Sam and Dean talk about “The French Mistake.”
It’s a manifestation of the child’s power. The Brothers insist on going there with Castiel.
He says it’s an alternate reality of Heaven and Hell fighting forever. He says a “friend” brought him up to speed.
I foresee a whole lot of retconning to get the writers out of the corner they wrote themselves into.
Castiel says he has faith the Naphil won’t hurt anyone. Dean calls Castiel a “dumbass.” Because Castiel is.
In the other world, they meet a Bizarro!Bobby. I so wish I were joking.
Mary gets stuck helping Kelly, while the Brothers find out the alt-world is one where Mary never made a deal to save John (and continued hunting) and the Brothers were never born. So, they never saved the world.
Bobby kills angels for fun, but sensed Castiel was different. Oh, and Rufus is alive.
C’mon, Dean, angel-killing bullets are not new on your world.
Kelly asks Mary if she’d die for her boys the way she will die for “Jack.” Barf. So much barf.
Crowley shows up.
Damn, we could have gotten a final Rowena scene in half the time this freakin’ baby is taking to get born. So dull.
Castiel comes in to talk to Kelly. He seems to be having second thoughts.
Downstairs, the Brothers are gearing up. What happened to all those Hunters that survived from last episode?
Dean talks about TFW and rather reluctantly includes Crowley.
Lucifer shows up. Finally. Took him long enough.
Sam warns Lucifer that Chuck will show up. Lucifer begs to differ. Dean contemptuously asks if Lucifer really intends to “smash all His toys?”
Castiel attacks Lucifer and gets tossed aside. The Brothers flee. Lucifer, like a moron (has he learned nothing?) pursues and finds them going into the rift.
Lucifer likes the new world he arrives in.
Sam tells Lucifer this is the world he wants.
Sam scampers off as Dean lights him up with angel-killing bullets. Dean gets his ass kicked as Sam and Crowley make a spell to trap Lucifer there.
Crowley says they need one more “ingredient – a life.”
Crowley comes out and challenges Lucifer. Sam grabs Dean and gets him back to the rift.
So, are we gonna lose Crowley, after all?
Crowley pulls out an angel blade and stabs himself.
Yep, looks like we’re losing Crowley. Castiel appears for no damned, good reason and attacks Lucifer. Sam drags Dean back through the rift as it closes.
Oh, and the baby is born.
Hmm, diving movie that demonizes sharks. Not-yay.
Castiel stabs Lucifer and comes back through the rift, but then gets stabbed. Lucifer comes through and it was all for nothing.
Just about certain at this point we’re getting a magic reset plot. They’re not gonna kill off this many fan favorites for real.
Mary beats up Lucifer with the magic brass knuckles. He drops his sword, but drags her through the rift.
Oh, and the boring-ass baby is being born. Sam runs inside. Dean mourns over Castiel and looks up at the sky.
Inside the house, Kelly’s dead (yeah, I know. Nobody cares). Sam sees burning baby footprints and follows them into the nursery.
He sees he Naphil. It looks like Lucifer and has glowing eyes.
And that’s the really annoying cliffhanger on which we are left.
I’ll also be simul-recapping on Wayward Children.